After prioritizing your standards, think about what behaviors and activities you are and aren’t willing to accept. These

Emotional intelligence is the deep abiding knowledge of self which allows you to see the benefits and shortcomings of your emotions. A partner or a spouse with a high emotional intelligence can see how their emotions work, and they understand how the same emotions work in others. For this reason, they are able to approach those they love with a greater amount of compassion and understanding. It makes it easier for both parties to work together and remain focused on their future goals.

Are you seeking a relationship with the expectation of someone else carrying the burden of your life for you? Do you think they will do all the heavy lifting while you take a passenger seat? Unfortunately, this is not how life works. No one wants to provide for someone who is capable of providing for themselves — especially when that person expects it with little gratitude. If you want a relationship that lasts, become a pro at meeting your own needs.

A sense of humor is invaluable, especially in an increasingly chaotic world. It can’t all be misery and hardship all the time. One of the most powerful things we can do in the midst of suffering is to find the light in it. Learning how to laugh at ourselves, our mistakes, and the setbacks we experience can be therapeutic. It can also help us to reveal the silver-lining and relieve the intense pressure we might deal with. A partner who can make you laugh is one who can help you through the hard times.

Figure out who you are as a person and become that person with the fullness of your heart. Build fulfilling social circles that encourage you and build you up. Pursue a career that allows you to provide; something which challenges you and pushes you. Beyond all of this, however, cultivate an unbreakable sense of self-worth.

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f your income increases by $10,000 but then you decide to take an extra vacation to an exotic location, buy new furniture and a new TV, well, then you’ve just burnt up your increase in income. Unfortunately, this is not so uncommon — there are bankers, lawyers, and surgeons living in New York City that have a negative net worth, all because they couldn’t resist the urge to constantly upgrade their lifestyle.

This meeting of your own needs is a powerful thing. It will bolster a sense of independence in you and help you to see how worthy and capable you are on your own. This is attractive to the strong and capable person, who can bring into your life a genuine sense of support and compassion. Take a step back and take an honest look at yourself. Are you seeking a relationship out of a sense of want, or a sense of need? The answer makes a big difference.

Do whatever it is that makes you happy on your own. Put yourself in the spaces and the environments which make you feel comfortable and fulfilled. The happier you are in space and in self, the easier it will become to make contact with someone who is moving the same direction in life. Detach yourself from the idea that someone else will make you happy. Be happy on your own, heal yourself, and become the kind of partner you want to attract.

It’s not fair to expect someone spectacular and balanced to come into your life when you yourself don’t exhibit those traits. Would you want someone you love to settle for someone who was putting in less effort than they expected to get in return? Probably not. Why, then, do we do this with those we want to spend forever with? To attract a good partner, you first have to be a good prospect.

Our standards and our boundaries are so important, but we so easily push them aside at the offer of a potential relationship. It’s our intimate relationships, though, in which these standards and boundaries become most important. We need them to communicate (to the world and ourselves) what we want and what we expect from our environments and the people we choose to fill them with.

Contrary to popular belief, knowing what you need or want in the other person is only a small part of building the perfect relationship. Before you can bring the right person into your life, you need to be the right partner for that person. You can’t expect someone to change your life for you, or make you better for simply being in your life.

What is that you need with it comes to emotional fulfillment? What do you need from your career or your environment in order to feel like you are able to provide for yourself? Do for yourself. Get what you want on your own. Dig deep and find ways to meet your own needs, and stop looking for other people you can depend on to do it.

We often think of confidence as something which relates to our careers, or our personal healing, but we don’t always consider how crucial it is where romance and intimacy are concerned. Self-confidence is key in attracting partners who respect us and the things we want for ourselves. When we have low self-confidence, we leave ourselves vulnerable to those who would harm us, or those who want to take advantage of us.

Build up your self-confidence by first focusing on the things you love about your spirit and your body. What things do you do well? What physical traits or attributes do you find most beautiful? Once you’ve had some time to get comfortable celebrating those things, zero in on the things you see as shortcomings or weaknesses. What can you change about them? How do they come together to complement your strengths and make you a whole person?

Before you leap into the deep waters of a serious relationship, spend some time cultivating a greater self-confidence. You have a right to thrive within a relationship that is everything you want and more. You deserve to be happy. In order for all those things to happen, though, you have to earnestly believe in your right and your ability to achieve those things.

Start with your standards. What is most important to you in a partner and in a relationship? What are you absolutely unwilling to compromise on? Think about the kind of person you want to be beside you in your lowest moments. When things are darkest, what type of individual needs to be there to support you?