Nice guys have the underlying belief that women owe them something just because they’re nice to them. The nice guy isn’t
18. If someone aims to seek revenge on those who have hurt them, believe that they are not so much trying to get even as they are trying to invalidate what that person did or said.
There are men of all backgrounds with different talents, attractiveness, characteristics, etc that do just fine with women and the world at large. You can be one of these men while having a ton of healthy qualities.
31. If someone is willing to let go of past grievances and start new in your relationship, believe them, because it is far easier to walk away than it is to change for the sake of someone else’s happiness.
25. If someone seems like a nice person to your face but aggressive and different behind a screen, believe that the latter is more of who they really are, they’re just in a position where they’re not afraid to show it.
26. If someone defends their harsh or hurtful opinions by saying they are “just being honest,” believe that they either lack a decent amount of empathy, or tact in communicating.
I’ve been there myself. From experiences in my younger days when I tried to ‘get the girl’ — you’ll see some stories below — to a failed marriage that failed partially because I focused too much on keeping score — I had to learn how to have healthy relationships with women and the world.
24. If someone promises you they will change so that you won’t be mad at them anymore but doesn’t actually do it, believe that they are not going to until they are ready — on their own terms.
30. If someone tells you that there’s a certain relationship or friendship pattern that “always” happens to them (i.e. they are “always” friend-zoned, or they “always” lose their BFFs) believe that it’s a warning.
28. If someone always feels the need to correct you, and never agrees with you instinctively, believe that they are actually very threatened by you, and need to assert dominance.
Mainly, I had to learn how to stop making decisions from a place of insecurity and approval seeking and just focus on becoming my best self — letting the chips fall where they may.
21. When people don’t show up for you — especially for significant times and events — believe that they are more invested in the idea of your relationship than you as a person. Everyone says they care — the people who show up are the ones who actually do.
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of intense work anxiety, I’d find myself frequently returning to the disclaimer for about a week, after which my mind learned I wasn’t going to indulge in any interesting rumination, diminishing its urge to fret. You’ll likely experience a similar effect.31. If someone is willing to let go of past grievances and start new in your relationship, believe them, because it is far easier to walk away than it is to change for the sake of someone else’s happiness.
29. If someone makes you feel weird for no explicable reason after you’re together for a period of time, believe your instinct, and trust that they are grating on you in ways you may not be aware of.
When it comes to your relationships, both with women and the world, you don’t have to be perfect to get them to work. Nor should you look at relationships as a scoreboard.