Remember when you were a kid and didn’t want to hold your doll, or were done with your juice box-.just hand it to Mom, s

She started telling me about her daughter and the kind person she was, about what her life aspirations had been, and the last words spoken between them the previous night before the accident. She then handed me the large framed picture of Danielle. Although I had seen her picture many times before on social media after the accident, I knew this acknowledgement from me was what she needed.

So, my question to you, the music industry, is — and I ask this humbly to open a discussion — what constitutes the worthiness of an award? This is not rhetorical; I would love to know an answer. I would love to know if what I have done throughout my career, and what so many other artists have done throughout theirs, in receiving a certain level of critical reception, does not qualify for some sort of formal recognition, then what does?

I waited in the car outside the usual monthly meeting place in the passenger seat unable to bring myself to enter the building. My husband, who had driven me for moral support, sat in the driver’s seat.

It appears that artists of every level are finding it so hard to navigate the politics of the industry, even posing these questions will raise eyebrows. How often is someone’s social media presence outweighing their artistic merits? This way of measuring success is, of course, not only in the hands of the music industry, but society at large. But at the same time, are Olympic teams now chosen based off which players get the most ‘likes’? By which players grace the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition? What makes the music industry so confusing is the dichotomy between being a true creative and achieving commercial success. But in the end, who really deserves the award?

And at the same time, music industry, I say to you: it is time to have a bigger discussion about where we are going and how we acknowledge and reward those who are, frankly, the reason this industry exists in the first place.

“That’s her,” he said as I watched three women walk past the front of our car. One of them noticed my husband through the windshield, then saw me, and began walking towards our car as I slowly exited the vehicle. She carried an 11 by 14 framed picture in her arms, and a bag of files hung from her shoulder.

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Another big question here is not what, but who is it that decides this worthiness? There appears to be a greater lack of transparency in our industry’s process of award nominations and voting — maybe those who are privy to the process, are able to take advantage of it? Before I go on, I just want to add one thing that is incredibly important for anyone reading this to understand: I am writing this on behalf of artists and I am directing it at those with a control of the system. I am not, for one second, pointing a finger at any artists who have been nominated or won awards. I, and so many others, just want some transparency.

The last thing I want to say is that if you are a hard-working musician or writer, or aspiring to be, I send my love and respect to you. In this confusing time where people seem to have to grasp at anything to catch the attention of an otherwise distracted world, I applaud you for continuing to pour yourself into something that relies so heavily on your emotions and plight — still writing away or tirelessly recording in a studio.

“Why is parenting so hard” “Why is parenting so exhausting” Why is parenting so lonely” Google search results that both affirmed how I feel and further depressed me. Parenting IS hard and it IS lonely and if Google is telling the truth, many of my fellow parents feel the same way and are probably desperate for support. They say parenting is supposed to take a village- it’s just that we’re missing the village.

As a community builder and a parent, I want to explore why isolation as a parent feels like such a devastating universal truth in this moment and whether tapping into community might be a key to alleviating some of the pain.

In the days preparing for this moment, I attempted to anticipate what she might have to say so that I could mentally prepare responses. Ultimately, I had decided I would simply let her speak and say whatever it was she was needing to purge in order to help her heal.

And at the same time, music industry, I say to you: it is time to have a bigger discussion about where we are going and how we acknowledge and reward those who are, frankly, the reason this industry exists in the first place.

To all those artists and creatives, who push on without a nod, wink or pat on the back, I respect you. And in this time — stage designs still being drawn up, lighting still being experimented with, instruments still being played, and beautiful, moving, powerful lyrics and melodies still being written every day — I say this to you, and to myself: keep going, keep doing what you love, keep the faith, keep knowing what you do is more important than you will ever know.

I remained quiet for the few seconds we stared at each other in the parking lot as I waited for to speak. She was matter-of-fact and pointed as she began, as if she had spent the last two years rehearsing.