The lesson is this. Americans let the basics of life, decade by decade, turn into luxuries only affordable for the riche

Finding an empty tube where the roll of toilet paper was can, perhaps, make you frown a bit, but that doesn’t really piss you off significantly. Because you remember that, sometimes, you tend to be a little lazy too.

Conflicts don’t happen often. In the rare occasion that they do take place, their magnitude is small and you’re capable of solving them in a civilized manner. Without any lasting emotional scars.

It left a certain imprint in your memories. You both feel a strong sense of gratitude for sticking around. And there’s also a feeling of camaraderie that gives you additional vigor to tackle any upcoming challenges.

There’s no anxiety about whether the relationship is going to last or not. It’s never an on and off thing. And you never feel that it’s complicated or uncertain. Instead, there’s a mutual sense of decisiveness, commitment and security.

I’m not talking about taking your partner for granted. But what I mean is that you somehow, effortlessly, manage to coexist without ever getting into each other’s way. The manners in which you deal with your daily proceedings in a limited space just flow symbiotically.

None of the quirks of the other becomes too annoying and both of you can be your authentic selves. You can play the guitar in your underwear, drink juice directly from the carton or do a nude workout in the living room. And it’s ok.

You can book plane tickets a month or a year in advance, or accidentally have a baby. It doesn’t matter. Because you know that you wouldn’t be flying alone, and neither would you be a single parent.

The lesson is this. Americans let the basics of life, decade by decade, turn into luxuries only affordable for the richest few — because they were too busy punching one another down to do what the rest of the rich world did: make those very basics of life ever cheaper and cheaper, until they became necessities provided for everyone. Yesterday’s luxuries becoming tomorrow’s basics, freely provided to all, is what the growth of a society really means — but America, perversely, got this backwards — today’s basics became tomorrow’s luxuries, rendering life itself less and less livable, year by year.

You both have your own social circle to spend time with, but somehow, the company of each other just seems better. Thus you might often find yourself politely rejecting the propositions of your friends so that you could, instead, spend time with your partner.

To be more precise, you’re not only capable, but you’re both also oriented to solving them. Nothing usually needs to be swallowed and after you finish your discussions, both sides feel heard and understood.

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re are two ways the brain deals with the world: the future and things we need to go after, and the here and now, seeing things and touching things,” Maddaus says. “Rather than being at the mercy of what’s going on, we can use the elements of our natural reward system and construct things to do that are good no matter what.”

There’s a general sense of emotional comfort. You can feel secure and openly talk about anything, your deepest fears included. You never have to worry about those things being weaponized by your partner at a later stage.

And no, I’m not talking about the infatuation phase. Instead, I’m referring to not getting fed up with each other in the long run. What I mean is having something to talk about even as the years pass, or something to do, and always looking forward to it.

I’m not urging anyone to make a rushed decision to leave their partner. But what I do recommend is looking at your current relationship through the lens of the above-mentioned points.

Be it health issues, financial trouble or otherwise stressful times, the relationship has seen its fair share of it. And instead of falling to pieces, the connection between you and your partner was proven to be solid.