The reality is that I do want kids. I just felt rushed in that relationship and I wonder what would have happened if we
So if you want a peek into the truth of everyday sexism, just listen to men themselves and you’ll find living in an imaginary world where they are the good guy and women are the problem. You don’t need to break your back doing research on inequality when assholes admit to it daily.
However, there was a major issue that ended up being our demise. He was certain that he wanted kids soon whereas I had just turned twenty-one and kids were the last things on my mind.
They start with the little annoyances and moments that we tuck away for a fight later on. I remember when I was younger that the piece of relationship advice I was always given was to “pick your battles.”
External events, like who wins the presidency, will continue to affect our lives. Of course they will. But we shouldn’t let our emotional reactivity from those events, good or bad, keep us from living a life directed from the inside out — a life steered by our best thinking about who we want to be, how we want to take care of ourselves, and how we want to take care of others. So ask yourself some good questions this week, and make space to be surprised by your own capability.
To help my clients feel more in control of their own emotions and behaviors, I encourage them to come up with a few simple daily questions that help them be more responsible for themselves. Those could look like:
So if you want a peek into the truth of everyday sexism, just listen to men themselves and you’ll find living in an imaginary world where they are the good guy and women are the problem. You don’t need to break your back doing research on inequality when assholes admit to it daily.
I agree that you shouldn’t be complaining about every single thing that your partner does. However, when we hold in our feelings and let them build up… it usually results in an explosion of emotions.
Last week was an emotional roller coaster for everyone. And as we rode the highs and lows of the election results, many of us abandoned our usual habits: We left the TV on all day. We reached for the leftover Halloween candy for dinner. We racked up double-digit hours on our screen usage reports. Now, in the aftermath, we’re struggling to morph back into responsible humans.
Instead of addressing the issue, we tried to ignore it. When we saw babies out there was an awkward silence that would fall between the two of us. We ended up getting in a huge fight one night and things ended between us.
External events, like who wins the presidency, will continue to affect our lives. Of course they will. But we shouldn’t let our emotional reactivity from those events, good or bad, keep us from living a life directed from the inside out — a life steered by our best thinking about who we want to be, how we want to take care of ourselves, and how we want to take care of others. So ask yourself some good questions this week, and make space to be surprised by your own capability.
Part of what’s on display at AITA is entitled ignorance; some men brought up in a sexist world really do believe that there is a natural gendered order that they just happen to benefit from. But the other piece is the anger that so many of these men have when they’re taken to task — first by the girlfriend or wife who inspired them to take to the forum, and then by the forum itself, which lets them know exactly what a jerk they are. The responses to the AITA “verdict” is usually shocked fury, and denial — the original poster will write update after update about how commenters aren’t really understanding what he means. Did you read the part about how she doesn’t really like to rest?
The answers to questions like these, whatever they may be, remind you that you are in charge of yourself. And the more self-directed you feel, the more quickly you can bounce back to a higher level of functioning after an intense period of time.
I’ve told my therapy clients before that it’s normal to experience some dip in mood and functioning after a period of high emotion. People often feel low shortly after they graduate from school, for example, or after their team wins a championship.
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d be: “We are looking for ways to manifest our brand among fanatic gym-goers. Our data (please find the report attached) suggests that they are, as a group, very representative of our brand, and they speak our language. One of our ideas is to hand out pairs of socks specifically designed for gym-use to our most loyal customers. Because we want the socks to be conversation-starters, they’d have to really catch the eye. We haven’t yet figured out the specifics, so we would like to ask you if you could think about the packaging and the design for these socks. As we plan to only produce 500 pairs, in order to limit costs, we would like the socks to have at most three colors.”To counter that feeling, you have to put the focus back on the one thing you can control: yourself. As you exit an emotional week, you can increase your ability to stay thoughtful, do good work, and take care of yourself.