With some research, an awareness of the importance of security, and open lines of communication, we can all make it thro

This speaks to the way people interact with the world in general. The underlying ‘nice guy’ energy isn’t just exclusive to men. People spend their lives not going for what they want, not asking for what they want, not being intentional about what they want.

Although most nice guys don’t go so far as to say this out loud, they do it in their mind when they want to date someone. They think that attraction is some logical math equation when it’s a combination of factors, many of which you can’t control.

You just ran into them and engaged with them enough that you wanted to keep spending time with them. Throughout your life, you’ve met thousands of people. Some you clicked with and some you didn’t. Did you fail to click with certain people because their resume wasn’t up to par?

Here’s what happens to guys who get in the friend zone. They’re attracted to a woman. But, instead of making it known that they want to pursue a romantic relationship, e.g., just ask her out, they spend time with her under the guise of friendship and try to slowly ease their way into a romantic relationship over a long period of time.

First, just be the best version of yourself for the sake of being the best version of yourself. Then, present yourself in a positive way to anyone you’re trying to get to know, not just women. Learn to like yourself first.

On his personal Medium blog, Homebrew partner Hunter Walk shares perspective for tech workers who worry about what it means to grow older in an industry that has a certain “incorrect (and sometimes illegal when it plays a role in hiring) age bias.”

Nice guys have a bunch of these little ‘covert contracts’ — they expect to get a specific result if they perform a specific action. Nice guys try to build themselves up to be this perfect partner on paper hoping that it will cause attraction. But it won’t.

Women don’t put men in the friend zone. Men put themselves in the friendzone, again, by being manipulative and disingenuous. That manipulative and disingenuous energy is the core problem ‘nice guys’ have.

Back in college, I remember sitting at a bar with a woman I’d been trying to get to date me. Pretty drunk at the time, I went into the most cringe possible monologue to try and “change her mind.” I literally asked her why she wouldn’t date me and gave her a bullet point list of reasons why she should.

The post reminds me of a story we published on OneZero last year, about “the planned obsolescence of old coders.” That story, written by A. Jesse Jiryu Davis, explores a similar theme: In an industry that explicitly prizes innovation and a knowledge of the bleeding edge, how can older workers fight against the unfair assumption that they might lack an understanding of those things?

Have a normal conversation like, you know, a human being. You’re naturally funny and charismatic — think of the way you are when you talk to your friends Do you overthink those conversations? No. Did you present a resume for your friends to get them to like you? No.

Again, it creates that weird energy — the feeling you have to ‘butter them up’ before asking them out. Then, if a woman doesn’t want to have that type of relationship, which is her right, the nice guy will get upset and claim that she somehow wasted his time.

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