A spiritual break is a little less intuitive, but in this context I mean anything affecting the human spirit or soul. Pl

This might include a walk around the block, walking the dog, going for a run, doing a workout video, jumping rope, doing some kettlebell exercises, or hustling up and down the stairs.

The key is proactively scheduling them. Your tired brain will take a break either way, but will probably choose something non-refreshing like doomscrolling for an hour before you know what you’re doing. So take charge and schedule in these three crucial breaks.

If you like, follow me on Twitter and YouTube where I post videos of espresso shots on different machines and espresso related stuff. You can also find me on LinkedIn. You can also follow me on Medium.

A lot of people believe they have to immediately “sort” any conflicts. It’s great in theory but trying to settle conflict when you’re angry/upset can make things a whole lot worse. Take the time each of you need. Not days or weeks though!

Ideally, these workday pauses should consist of a portfolio of break types — activities that are proven to increase energy levels, or highly likely to improve mood. One study that measured people’s happiness levels through the day and during different activities found that beyond the obvious winners — eating and “intimate relations” — people were happiest when exercising, socializing, and engaging in spiritual activities.

This doesn’t mean “be bossy”. But it’s smart to avoid saying vague things to your partner like “I need you to do more”, “I’m unhappy with this situation”, “I want you to initiate things.” These may sound reasonable but they lead people to feel helpless or hopeless because they’re not sure what to do to make things better. If you want more help, ask for it in specific terms. I’d like to carve out some time to myself on Fridays. Could you please drop off the kids on Wednesdays and Thursdays? Are you able to take over the cooking on Mondays? You may not get an immediate yes, but it’s a better starting point for domestic negotiations.

People often wind themselves into a state of resentment because their partner’s not doing enough. So, when their partner does contribute, they’ll see it as overdue, rather than being appreciative. Everyone responds well to praise; there’s no such thing as “over-thanking”. Thank your partner, always. It will make them feel valued — and, the secret benefit in case you haven’t guessed — it will encourage them to do more.

While no one can make more time, energy is a different matter. Ever wonder why it takes twice as long to write a report at 2:30 p.m. as it does at 10:30 a.m.? You haven’t gotten dumber — it’s just that your energy levels change during the workday. One study found that people were most likely to report high energy levels at 8 a.m., probably when that first cup of coffee kicked in. Energy levels then drifted steadily downward into the afternoon.

That same study, however, found that a single five-minute session of stair climbing could raise energy levels for over an hour. More energy translates into better work, which makes breaks incredibly productive — if they’re done well.

People often wind themselves into a state of resentment because their partner’s not doing enough. So, when their partner does contribute, they’ll see it as overdue, rather than being appreciative. Everyone responds well to praise; there’s no such thing as “over-thanking”. Thank your partner, always. It will make them feel valued — and, the secret benefit in case you haven’t guessed — it will encourage them to do more.

Hit pause before you say what’s on your mind. It allows you to assess whether you really need to raise your point or grievance. Is it THAT important? A lot of minor issues can be let go if we give ourselves time to think things through, to be reasonable.

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this is that my god-given lankiness and cringeworthy appearance immediately made me an object of derision and torment amongst my peers, who wasted no time with cruel epithets — skinny bone jones, bulimic bitch, jap, chink, gook, dumpling dumpster. I had been airlifted from the comfort of Chinese educational institutions which stressed academic excellence and only academic excellence, where respect is earned with perfect scores and mastery of the instruments, where no misbehavior was tolerated, where aggression was always exercised passively, and dropped into one which resembled anarchy, where students swore and threw spitballs back and forth, only to get away with nothing more than a perfunctory “quit it,” from the teacher, where everyone had an archetype and studious children were called nerds and losers, where respect seemed to be earned not in the classroom, but on the schoolyard in between classes, where physical aggression often dominated.

It’s normal to get emotional in a relationship — but it’s not okay to let your feelings run amok, because your words and actions can be hard to come back from. Have a go-to plan for calming yourself down or picking yourself up and explain to your partner what you need in terms of time and space. Just give me an hour to cool off. Don’t leave them to guess.

This could involve grabbing coffee with a colleague (or FaceTiming over a cup of coffee if you’re working virtually), having lunch with your partner and kids if they’re around, or calling a friend or family member you want to catch up with.

When I worked in a fast-food restaurant many years ago, we got three breaks in an eight-hour shift: two 15-minute “smoke breaks” (actual smoking not required) and a 30-minute meal. This rhythm works for computer work too: A short break in mid-morning, a slightly longer lunchtime, and then a mid-afternoon pick-me-up can effectively punctuate the workday without detracting from actual work.