According to a 2013 survey of 2,000 moms by NUK, 87% of mothers feel guilty at some point, with 21% unfortunately report

Within a matter of days, Octavia stopped waking up altogether. A concerned James called the local doctor. Upon his arrival, the doctor declared her to be dead. The causes of death were not known.

Octavia fell into a depression. Days went by, and she wouldn’t leave the safety of her bed. Neighbors stopped by to talk with her and encourage her to resume normal life, to no avail. Even her beloved husband couldn’t rally her spirits to eat more than a bite or two of dinner.

Nobody likes to carry feelings of guilt around for long. It can be the push we need to make some changes in our lives, so we come closer to being the parent we want to be.

James dealt with his grief differently. He threw himself into work. The longer he was away from the house, the more he could push his feelings to the side. Loved ones worried that his absence was putting a strain on his marriage and making his wife feel as though she were alone in grieving for their son.

Mother guilt starts during pregnancy and continues to rear its ugly head at home, work, and in society in general. So-called experts — as well as plenty of amateurs — like to point out perceived flaws in moms, saying we’re too free-range, to tiger mom, too pushy, too controlling, etc. And because we love our children so fiercely, we’re susceptible to second-guessing and ongoing regret.

As more mothers have entered the U.S. workforce in the past several decades, the share of two-parent households in which both parents work full time now stands at 46%, up from 31% in 1970. At the same time, the share with a father who works full time and a mother who doesn’t work outside the home has declined considerably; 26% of two-parent households today fit this description, compared with 46% in 1970, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of Current Population Survey data.

A survey by Fisher-Price suggests American moms are particularly vulnerable to feeling this guilt, and “seem to feel more pressure than moms in the other countries surveyed based on a higher level of agreement with statements reflecting parental confidence.” In that survey, 42% of U.S. moms polled felt that “properly caring for the baby while taking care of myself and my responsibilities is a big challenge.”

Some moms feel a weight on their shoulders (or chest, soul, etc.), and some feel panicky — like they need to fix the problem right now. Mom guilt is the should, the supposed to’s, and the other moms are… clanking around in your head as you try to make it through the day.

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What we need to understand as a mother is, if we feel we are not doing enough for our children that means we are keeping our selves on a check and always striving towards improvement.

A full 70 percent of mothers with kids under age 18 work outside the home, and 40 percent of these moms are the family breadwinner — the majority of whom are single mothers.

Weeks after the loss of their son, Octavia grew ill. Many chalked it up to bad nutrition and a lack of activity. They tried to feed her soup. But the young woman barely had the energy to accept more than a few spoonfuls before she fell asleep.

Women need to learn to forgive themselves. Nature has chosen them for this strenuous task of being a mom and apparently they seem to be doing it well, being the only bearers of their status for billions of years.

Nobody likes to carry feelings of guilt around for long. It can be the push we need to make some changes in our lives, so we come closer to being the parent we want to be.

At times working-mom guilt leads some women to drop out of the workforce, take less-demanding and lower-paying positions. Long-term, they rarely catch up, and collectively, this keeps the pay gap alive and well.