But I’ve heard women on TikTok going viral for saying this advice is toxic, that it doesn’t make them feel good and it m

You don’t have to think it all out and know it all yet; you just need to have interactive ingredients that can be used to create interesting dynamics. That’s all you need.

This is a phrase usually used when a woman is dating a man, and she doesn’t think he’s putting in enough effort, or she’s not sure how he feels about her, or maybe he’s not texting back as quickly as he used to. Or maybe he’s stopped calling, but he still texts occasionally — enough to keep her interested.

You know what it takes to tell a good story. You just forget about it when you’re writing. You get carried away with the art of storytelling. You’re worried about “important” things too soon — the themes, what it “means,” adding depth — when all you need to do is tell a good story.

She still lives in a tidy but modest high-rise apartment building across the street from Lake Ontario, and old friends who have largely cut ties occasionally still see her out running errands. The enduring consequences in cases like this seem to be personal rather than criminal. “I’ll donate to keep her in jail!” wrote one of Cindy’s former friends after she was busted.

Cindy’s sentence required her to stay off the internet after the ordeal, but a mutual friend told me that she was back on pretty quickly under a pseudonym — again mostly posting about her nephew, but this time to a much smaller circle of online friends. Cindy’s probation recently ended, and the entire incident was expunged from her record like it never happened.

My feelings about Cindy’s fraud were more complicated, though. It took me months before I understood both why I couldn’t stop watching and why, every time I looked at a picture of Cindy or read about her case, I felt a distinct stirring in the pit of my stomach.

“Is realism what people read novels for? No. A novel must have verisimilitude, that is, the appearance of reality, within the context of the world created by the book. But realism?” — William Bernhardt

Cindy is far from the only young-ish woman ripping off friends and family members on the internet, using social media and crowdfunding sites to raise funds with bogus stories of illness and personal tragedy.

Now that you have the roadmap, you need to put in the work. That means building a writing habit. Follow this every day, and your writing will improve quickly. Get the checklist here!

You can practice this every day, even when you’re not writing. The next time someone asks you how your day was or what you’ve been up to — you have a chance to practice your storytelling.

Now that you have the roadmap, you need to put in the work. That means building a writing habit. Follow this every day, and your writing will improve quickly. Get the checklist here!

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Humans are storytelling machines. It’s built into all of us, whether we realize it or not. Writing good stories is just learning how to get out of your own way. Trust your intuitions and focus on telling the most interesting details in the most interesting way. In time, you’ll have a great story.

In the wake of the revelation, there was a lot of tsk-tsking and a reckoning of sorts. A store manager in the local mall had been so moved by Cindy’s story — which she heard when Cindy (in a motorized wheelchair) and her mother (who was crying) visited her store — that she had donated eight boxes of goods belonging to her deceased mother. Now, she wanted them back.

A vigorous discussion continued on Cindy’s Facebook page, with former friends sharing news stories and general disgust. After months of rallying in support, they were incredulous about being taken advantage of and her actions had left an understandably bitter taste. One friend noted that her office had given their Christmas donation to Cindy instead of a struggling local family. “I am ashamed of even caring,” wrote another.