But we underestimate our brains. Often, we perceive the physical world as more important than our mental one, and we ign

I don’t know about you, but as a developer, all I want to do is develop. I don’t want to chase product owners, check UI copy/elements, rewrite acceptance criteria, keep asking the back-end team about the API, etc.

Instead, go into your meeting or conversation with intent. Be mindful and specific about the words you choose — it may be hard to wrangle “celestial” in casual conversation, but maybe you can talk about some warming hot chocolate you had or a refreshing cool breeze you enjoyed while on a walk.

We like to pretend we’re at the mercy of our brains — that through no fault of our own, we forgot to buy milk at the grocery store, that we acted weirdly at a party for no reason, that Twitter has us hostage and doom-scrolling.

I somehow had convinced myself I was pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy and I was nearly 45, but it could happen, right? I’m a women’s clinical health educator for goodness sake, I know how this works. My logical brain knew this was perimenopause. Duh! But my crazy out of control anxiety brain that was keeping me up every damn night thought perhaps I was pregnant.

Perimenopause refers to the years before your last period and the first year after it. During this time, estrogen and progesterone hormones decrease causing the time between periods to become goofy and unpredictable. Menstrual periods become shorter and lighter or longer and heavier. Symptoms during perimenopause include, but are not limited to, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, mood changes, anxiety, sleep problems, weight gain, urinary problems, difficulties with concentration, and hair loss. HUZZAH!

It sounds so straightforward, but most of us are shockingly casual with our language, especially when meeting someone new for the first time. It’s scary and stressful for most of us, which can cause us to word-vomit anything that comes to mind. If you choose to talk about anything stressful (which is easy now — we’ve got the pandemic, the election, the weather events, and the increasing price of chocolate all top of mind) you might accidentally shove someone else’s brain into a spiral of stress, which will cause them to think less positively of you.

I’ve been providing menopause education for several years. I occasionally feel unqualified to teach a health topic I’m not experiencing myself. It was the same with childbirth education. I’d been told years ago by friends and colleagues I’d make an excellent childbirth educator, but I just felt I needed to have a baby first. If the same logic is true, I can only imagine what my parents thought when I started teaching sex education.

No period and breast pain were my pregnancy signals. I told my husband how I could be pregnant, and he just laughed. I was consumed with stress, until I broke down and bought a pregnancy test. Negative. I think a part of me wanted it to be positive. Not that I wanted to be pregnant and have another child. I am 100% at peace with not having any more kids, but it would be evidence I was still fertile and therefore young. I stared at that pregnancy test for a long time. Proof I felt that I was now “of a certain age.” I was entering a new phase of life. And unlike the previous phases of life, I was eager to be a part of (adolescence, young adulthood, parenthood…), this one felt different. A little sad.

Word choice sounds simple, but it’s also simple to ignore. We underestimate the power of words at our peril — they have very real consequences on how we perceive ourselves, and how others perceive us.

The OBGYN, who co-teaches the class with me, and I try our best to give class participants tools and tips or discuss medications to help alleviate their discomfort and give them hope it isn’t always going to be “this bad.” I felt a little bit like a fraud, like I had no business telling these people what to do, as I myself had not been suffering too. I’d try to show I was also one of them, in their club. I’d shake my head in agreement with someone talking about their vaginal dryness like I too felt their pain. But the one thing I was really suffering from was full-on dread.

I don’t know about you, but as a developer, all I want to do is develop. I don’t want to chase product owners, check UI copy/elements, rewrite acceptance criteria, keep asking the back-end team about the API, etc.

While teaching a menopause class, I always experienced a sadness for the people attending. They are so desperate to find answers and solutions to their symptoms. Some of which you could see truly scared them. Hot flashes that embarrassed them at work or sometimes even made them vomit they were so intense. Painful sex or low libido that was causing problems in their relationship, as their partner didn’t understand, or did understand but both were really frustrated about it. Weight gain that made them feel undesirable and less than. It was all so…depressing.

I am smart enough to know this is self-doubt talking and one does not need to have physically experienced something to become an expert on it. If anything, you might be better because you don’t bring in your own biases and personal crap. It really is good I finally figured this out, because otherwise, I should stop talking about vasectomies immediately.

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http://skrs.vidrio.org/sbe/v-ideos-Lazio-Fiorentina-v-en-gb-1ipz-15.php

http://svt.munich.es/tvk/videos-crotone-v-roma-v-it-it-1dds2-23.php

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http://svt.munich.es/tvk/video-crotone-v-roma-v-it-it-1qlt2-14.php

http://m.dentisalut.com/qtk/v-ideos-Enyimba-Al-Merrikh-v-en-gb-psd-.php

http://skrs.vidrio.org/sbe/video-Lazio-Fiorentina-v-en-gb-1zzl30122020-16.php

http://stream88.colomboserboli.com/eca/Video-crotone-v-roma-v-it-it-1muj2-10.php

http://vert.actiup.com/eil/videos-denizlispor-v-kaiserispor-v-yt2-1bda-24.php

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http://vert.actiup.com/eil/v-ideos-denizlispor-v-kaiserispor-v-yt2-1nxz-21.php

http://skrs.vidrio.org/sbe/videos-lazio-v-fiorentina-v-it-it-1vuc2-5.php

are in a talent trap. They are no longer recruiting risk-taking employees who want to join an early startup for its potential. Instead they are competing with public companies. For employees choosing between a public company or a private one, the late stage private company is the worst of both worlds. They no longer have the growth potential of early stage private companies, but they don’t have the liquidity of public companies either.

It’s worth noting that all of the standard rules of good first impressions still apply here — body language, tone, and eye contact are all still important. You can’t just say “celestial” and be done. But the very words we use are often overlooked in the quest to make a perfect first impression, even though they can be vital.