Do you get defensive when criticised — even if it’s justified? Are you highly sensitive to the opinions of other people?

We’re not talking about watching reruns of Friends here. You can laugh together for about five minutes over a Friends episode and quote it about three times before it gets old. Side note: his lack of commitment to Schitt’s Creek concerns me.

There’s another way, though, to improve your relationship and to be a good, or better, partner. And that’s to work on yourself, to understand who you are and how you roll in a relationship.

People often say they want their partner (or at least some aspect of them) to be different. But trying to change someone else is a rocky place to start: it can cause confusion and hurt — particularly if it’s a personality-based trait.

I recently watched Hillbilly Elegy and found it was the perfect segue into testing some waters about our political views. There’s a lot of hard subjects there. You have to look for the nugget in what you see. Find the opportunity.

This is absolutely an experiment in making the best of a not-so-easy situation but I could imagine anyone, regardless of proximity to their partner, could make it work for them. But, no, you can’t have my login.

While it’s true therapy can help, most couples wait an average six years before signing up. By then, their dysfunctional habits are often so embedded in the relationship, it’s tough to dig them out.

One of the truly fun things I’ve found? I’m a little warped. Part of me is an absolutely horrible person and really wants to start watching totally bizarre shows for three minutes so they appear in my “Continue Watching for Vanessa” list. Sorry, not sorry.

http://news24.gruposio.es/ydd/video-ZSC-Lions-HC-Ambri-Piotta-v-en-gb-mcw-.php

http://live-stream.munich.es/exd/v-ideos-ZSC-Lions-HC-Ambri-Piotta-v-en-gb-tqx-.php

http://news24.gruposio.es/ydd/v-ideos-ZSC-Lions-HC-Ambri-Piotta-v-en-gb-rhw-.php

http://live-stream.munich.es/exd/videos-ZSC-Lions-HC-Ambri-Piotta-v-en-gb-jpy-.php

https://assifonte.org/media/hvc/video-porto-robur-costa-ravenna-v-gi-group-team-monza-v-it-it-1wqf2-25.php

http://live-stream.munich.es/exd/v-ideos-ZSC-Lions-HC-Ambri-Piotta-v-en-gb-tep-.php

https://assifonte.org/media/hvc/videos-porto-robur-costa-ravenna-v-gi-group-team-monza-v-it-it-1csb2-17.php

https://assifonte.org/media/hvc/videos-porto-robur-costa-ravenna-v-gi-group-team-monza-v-it-it-1feb2-12.php

http://news24.gruposio.es/ydd/video-SC-Bern-HC-Davos-v-en-gb-gjw30122020-.php

https://assifonte.org/media/hvc/video-porto-robur-costa-ravenna-v-gi-group-team-monza-v-it-it-1aka2-21.php

http://live-stream.munich.es/exd/videos-SC-Bern-HC-Davos-v-en-gb-csf-.php

http://news24.gruposio.es/ydd/video-SC-Bern-HC-Davos-v-en-gb-dsr30122020-.php

https://assifonte.org/media/hvc/v-ideos-Fenerbahce-KK-Crvena-zvezda-v-en-gb-1ska-.php

https://assifonte.org/media/hvc/videos-Fenerbahce-KK-Crvena-zvezda-v-en-gb-1msr30122020-14.php

http://live-stream.munich.es/exd/v-ideos-SC-Bern-HC-Davos-v-en-gb-jya-.php

http://news24.gruposio.es/ydd/v-ideos-SC-Bern-HC-Davos-v-en-gb-dnn-.php

https://assifonte.org/media/hvc/videos-Fenerbahce-KK-Crvena-zvezda-v-en-gb-1kes-3.php

http://news24.gruposio.es/ydd/videos-HC-Lugano-Geneve-Servette-HC-v-en-gb-gat-.php

http://live-stream.munich.es/exd/v-ideos-SC-Bern-HC-Davos-v-en-gb-ybj-.php

https://assifonte.org/media/hvc/Video-Porto-Robur-Costa-Ravenna-GI-Group-Team-Monza-v-en-gb-1fyt-.php

a project are usually pretty similar or at least grouped into few similar clusters! This equation also implies that the problem is scalable! While we want everything in software projects to be scalable, problems are certainly not welcome.

One of the truly fun things I’ve found? I’m a little warped. Part of me is an absolutely horrible person and really wants to start watching totally bizarre shows for three minutes so they appear in my “Continue Watching for Vanessa” list. Sorry, not sorry.

People who make effort don’t do it half-assed. He’s watching the show for the same reason he listened to the Armchair Expert podcasts I suggested. If it’s important enough to me that it matters enough to suggest it to him, it should be important to him to take note. His words, not mine.

Though it’s an incredibly unexpected way of being able to find depth in our relationship, it still requires a bit of thought. Once I realized this was an opportunity, I had to start looking at it that way.

Slowing down is the key to listening properly — which is obviously the key to good communication. Plenty of people talk a big game but great listening is a tougher skill to master — especially when so much of our lives are lived on the run. So slow down, sit down, lock away your phone and take the time to hear your partner. You don’t even need to add an illuminating comment, just be affirming; offer something that indicates you have heard (and, even better, understood) their viewpoint and their feelings.

When we see something new that’s been watched recently, it’s a conversation. We can talk about a show or a movie and discussion the implications of it, how we feel affected, or how it connects to our past experiences.

We’re currently navigating a short term period of separation. He took a 13-week contract in a small town 16 hours away by car and 8 hours away by plane. We’ll take all the connection we can get.

Many of these conversations would not have come up just randomly. We get prompts now. It allows us to open up a little more and have talks about issues within the parameters of something in common.