Emotional maturity isn’t a matter of age. It’s the result of inner growth that sometimes needs more hard work and profes

Black people in America often find solidarity and fraternity with other People of Color here — particularly Asian-Americans — because they have faced similar types of racism. My ex-girlfriend was no exception. Some of her closest friends were Asian or Asian-American. In a similar vein, the past year has been particularly challenging for Asian-Americans because they are sometimes unfairly blamed for the pandemic.,They don’t like to be on their own because it will mean they have to face their feelings and deal with the consequences of their actions. Immature people use friends and family as a distraction from emotions and introspections. They also use others as a scapegoat for their fault and mistakes.,As successful as she was, my ex-girlfriend was not a fan of capitalism. As she explained to me, capitalism in America was built on slavery. The U.S. Capitol building and many other American institutions were created on the backs of African slaves. For many Black people, the origins of American capitalism are impossible to ignore because they are the foundation modern racism. Seen through this lens, it’s easy to see why my ex-girlfriend might feel ambivalence about capitalism.,In synagogues that are mainly populated by white people Jews of Color are sometimes viewed as curiosities — people who white members aren’t sure belong there. It’s not unusual, my ex-girlfriend told me, for white Jews to ask Jews of Color how they became Jewish, a line of questioning that she found particularly insulting. (It’s considered rude in Judaism to ask converts why the decided to become Jewish. It’s even ruder to assume that someone converted because they don’t ‘look Jewish.),Holding grudges to someone isn’t healthy behavior. Emotionally immature people don’t elaborate on their emotions and move on. They keep rancors inside and let past experiences bother them and ruin the present.,The best way to stop holding grudges to others is to forgive them even if you don’t understand or find a rational reason behind their actions. Forgiving who did wrong to you also means to let go of every negative feeling connected to that person or story.,When they need something, they focus only on satisfying the temporary need, spending all the money they have, and even more. They sign in for reckless investments or ask for loans they can’t afford.,Study budget planning. There ad experts in budgeting who can help you make the most out of your monthly salary, no matter how much it is. Create a strategy to control income and expenses and do your best to stick to it. Understand which costs aren’t related to necessary purchases (food, bills, rent) and cut them. Plan for your retirement and start saving a small amount each month. Also, create an emergency found to use only if a severe accident or a life matter situation happens.,It might take time to appreciate the time spent alone, but using someone else as a distraction and creating bonds of dependence could be unhealthy for all the parties involved.,Develop empathy and selfishness, listen to others’ needs, and stop holding grudges for past events. Follow someone’s example or ask for help from a qualified doctor. There is always room for improvement.,My partner and I have a pretty good sex life but sometimes we don’t have sex for a week or more. For us — that’s a decent dry spell which breeds major frustration. Our sex life could probably be better — but at least we have one. Does it need work? Sure, almost all things can be improved somehow. However, I’m grateful for the sexual connection we do have after all these years.,Start by spending more time alone, find self-care practices to experiment with. Also, avoid blaming others for your mistakes. As stated before, everybody needs to take responsibility for their actions and seek ways to improve and fix what they did wrong.,Most of my education on race occurred either during dinnertime conversations or when my then-girlfriend put Netflix on pause to explain her perspective as a Black women. I want to be careful to emphasize that what I have learned about race is largely based on my interactions with my ex-girlfriend, and may not be reflective of all Black Americans’ experiences.,Sometimes it is hard to open up with others, especially if negative past experiences hold you back. If you can’t face your emotions even with someone close to you, maybe it’s time to seek therapist advice. Find a person you can build a trusted relationship with and let your feelings out at your own pace. We are all human beings with emotions, and they are not always easy to cope with.,Emotionally immature people can grow too. The first step to becoming an emotionally mature person is to be aware of the situation and willing to take beneficial life changes.