However, for most concubines, it would be a boring, dull life ‘hoping’ for the emperor to make a visit and presenting th

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way in 2000, when she began to work for a travelling magazine company, which sold subscriptions across the country and trapped the predominantly young salespeople with alcohol, drugs and violence. It’s believed she was working when Burnette enticed her into his car and murdered her.

And out of the options available, being a concubine was one of the easiest ways available for a poor woman to earn social security and financial status if she can’t find a husband. Concubinage was also considered far safer than prostitution as there will be only one male partner and chances of getting sexual diseases were less.

That said, concubinage was a complex practice in imperial China and for most of the women a necessary evil to be adopted simply because women at that time had only four options to survive; be a wife, work as a maid, be a concubine, or work as a prostitute.

I still refuse to sit and meditate. But I will accept that when I take in the foggy fall mornings, I do think only of how magical it looks and how great my tea tastes. And even if that moment is fleeting, it is still one that is mine.

On the 2nd day, the emperor ‘experts’ examined the girls for voice, diction, and mannerisms. Another 2000 were eliminated at the end of the day. On the 3rd day, their physical characteristics were examined in minute detail. The details included the shapes of their lips, feet, arms, breasts, and also the ‘degree’ of sexuality that they were endowed with. Another 1000 were eliminated.

On the 4rth day, a thorough medical examination was done for any sexual diseases, physical disabilities, and internal ailments, eliminating another 700. The final 300 were given accommodation within the palace and kept under close watch. They were judged on knowledge, merit, temperament, and character and ranked accordingly.

And the worst part; they live for the emperor and they are made to die for the emperor. They were his to do with as he pleased, including taking them along with him in his ‘afterlife’ for entertainment. The imperial concubines were either executed by palace eunuchs or commit suicide themselves by hanging themselves with a silk scarf or by taking poison.

A concubine can improve her ranking by producing an heir (although their sons would be inferior to legitimate children), and could rise up the concubine ranking. Concubines who gave birth to male offspring also have a better chance to reach the imperial consort level faster in life. However, if a high-ranking concubine failed to bear children, she can also be demoted from her ranking.

Once a girl becomes a palace concubine, she enters into a ruthless game of power, treachery, and jealousy. There were varying ranks of concubines and the elevation to every rank depends on how often an emperor visits a girl. A concubine obtaining more frequent visits by an emperor could rise up the ladder very fast with some even becoming the imperial consort. The most famous ones were Ci Xi and Wu Ze Tian who went on to became two of China’s Empresses.

As of this moment, I’m more afraid of the stigma I attached to “mindfulness” than actually trying to live mindfully. But over the course of the pandemic in particular, I’ve found myself forcing myself to slow down so I don’t get lost in what-ifs or how scared I am about, well, everything. I drink my tea in the morning and look outside at the misting dew. I go for walks with my dad and listen when he tells me about growing up in our hometown. I accept, for better or worse, that I’m doing what I can, even if it feels like nothing. That I’m not in control — not of my work, not of my loved ones, not of my own immune system — and that we are all united in the same sense of helplessness. I take my pills every morning and evening. The anxiety I feel now is of the same species as the anxiety I had before, but sits someplace else — someplace where it doesn’t loom so large. I’ve accepted that it will exist with me always, but it’s not an enemy I need to defeat.

It was believed that an emperor should have a good, vibrant sex life for benefit of the entire Chinese empire. This was the core philosophy behind ensuring that only the best concubines get to sleep with the emperor at all times. Secretaries and scribes were employed to ensure that the emperor’s sexual needs are always fulfilled by the ‘right’ concubines.

As the story goes, eunuchs were sent across the country to shortlist 5,000 young women aged 13 to 16 to be considered as potential concubines. On reaching the palace,1000 were immediately eliminated for being too tall, fat, or thin.

Ultimately, 50 girls made it to the final round to be showcased before the emperor. The emperor selected 3 out of them and gave the remaining ones to the court nobles. These girls were supposedly the ‘fab 50’ or the ‘lucky 50’ to be envied by others who lost the race.

I still refuse to sit and meditate. But I will accept that when I take in the foggy fall mornings, I do think only of how magical it looks and how great my tea tastes. And even if that moment is fleeting, it is still one that is mine.

And traditionally once a girl was brought to the emperor’s attention to be concubine, she is bound for lifelong captivity. Once a girl was taken inside the palace walls, she had to leave behind her family, her friends, her usual ways of life, and not even permitted to see her relatives or friends without official consent. An army of eunuchs guards her movements closely, ensuring her ‘virginity’ for the emperor. Sex with anyone other than the emperor was strictly forbidden and is punishable by death.