I am 25 and it is 9:42 pm on a Tuesday. I am sitting in a Los Angeles subway station, which exists. I missed the train a

I read recently that at 54, we lose our spark. A Norwegian polled 917 people aged 14–77 to reveal a strong correlation between passion and grit. Passion increases people’s willingness to work hard and to take risks to achieve goals. In our early fifties, our mindset shifts. We become more cynical and are less likely to believe that hard work and perseverance pay off. In short, we lose our drive, and out goes the spark.

It may sound kind of fun at first, to have a League champion that looks like you. But I don’t think I’ve even opened League, let alone played a game, since she came out. (One silver lining: I haven’t gotten demoted in a while?) I’ve felt really grossed-out about it, to the point that I can’t play one of my favorite videogames. Besides that, it’s been kind of horrid to have a League champion who looks like you, has so many of your characteristics, and has a NAME that’s almost identical to yours. People I’ve never met send her to me online and point out the similarities, there’s already immense amounts of porn of her, I see people arguing about her near-daily (take a wild guess as to whether I side with the people who think it’s kind of creepy or the people who insist she’s a ~*smol bean uwu*~), and while I do kind of agree that she’s an out of place character for the lore of the game, it does suck to see your features torn apart on a massive scale every time you open your Twitter feed.

A mother and son sit on the bench behind me, in a zag. They have just come from Costco and she is irritated that the basketball they bought doesn’t fit in the box. When the kid tries to lighten her bad mood with a joke, she curses in frustration.

Fair enough! First, remember that you don’t have to jump right this very second. Lots of folks are excited right now, but that doesn’t mean it’s now or never for you. Waiting also means you can find out who you’d be working with before you show up.

Even worse than all that has been the wondering about whether or not she’s based off me. I waited a while to post anything (partially because I wanted a lawyer first) but also because it’s terrifying to wonder if this happened, but have no way to conclusively prove it. I actually spent a while with her account’s Tweet notifications on, worrying about what personal detail or similarity would be next — it was horrible to guess what part of her appearance could match mine next or what cutesy quirk she might have when it seemed like every Tweet and picture being released only contained more and more similarities.

He is upset by my answer — says it’s a selfish goal. My heart is beating fast because within the span of two minutes I have realized what I want most in life, vocalized it, and been judged for it. My heart is beating fast because I think he might be right — it is selfish. I am selfish. I ask him what his goal is, because he thinks he’s so Smart and Good, and he says that he wants to make a medical breakthrough that saves lives. I am annoyed by his answer, not because he is a hypocrite, but because he actually means it, because he actually is Smart and Good. He tells me that he didn’t realize he was dating someone whose dreams were so selfish. I tell him that I also want to write things that make the world a better place. That is apparently a more acceptable answer, and we go back to snuggling. It is still very hot in the bed but now it is also cold.

I am 20 or so when I realize that if I want a child, I will have to plan for a long time, and fill out an application, and maybe still not get a baby. I am 22 when I realize that a lot of my friends were “surprises.”

On the one hand, this is an issue I care about, but I’m very much aware that there are bigger issues going on. Most days, I feel very Kim, there’s people that are dying — it feels very self-indulgent to worry about this at all, but especially nowadays. We’re all still in the middle of a pandemic, we’re discussing mass protests for racial justice, the election just was a mess, etc., etc. I’m always aware of that, and this post isn’t meant to detract from anything more important going on. On the other hand, when I privately shared what was going on in my life with some wonderful women who are more experienced and much wiser than me, I got the same message: This is creepy. I’d be horrified. This might not be life or death, but it seems weird and wrong and you should feel entitled to say something. And at the end of the day, I just couldn’t see any more think pieces or tweets about Seraphine without posting this.

I am 20 and lying in bed with my boyfriend at the time, and I am nestled into his armpit, which is a good place to be. We are sharing a twin bed, and it is hot, and sweaty, and infinitely preferable to being a comfortable temperature alone.

Second, if 280 agencies is a little intimidating of a starting point, here are some recommendations of agencies that are known for treating tech and design seriously and having excellent talent:

I am 23 and none of my gay friends talk about children when they talk about the future. They talk about open relationships and queering hegemony and how monogamy is dumb. I have never imagined the future without having a child.

Second, if 280 agencies is a little intimidating of a starting point, here are some recommendations of agencies that are known for treating tech and design seriously and having excellent talent:

There is a moment of silence, a nice one, and then my boyfriend asks me what my goal is in life. It is not a question I have been asked before, and I think for a moment and then I tell him this: I would like to have a husband who loves me, and children, and a nice house with a backyard that is good for hosting friends of my children, and financial security.

https://assifonte.org/media/ept/Video-Botafogo-Atletico-Paranaense-v-en-gb-1hyw30122020-9.php

http://svt.munich.es/zzr/videos-coritiba-v-goias-v-pt-br-1trp2-23.php

http://live247.gruposio.es/mun/v-ideos-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-uep-.php

http://wap.dentisalut.com/mqk/video-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1kmq-.php

http://svt.munich.es/zzr/videos-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1awo30122020-.php

http://live247.gruposio.es/mun/v-ideos-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-bfj-.php

http://wap.dentisalut.com/mqk/video-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1skf-10.php

http://vert.actiup.com/gwk/videos-coritiba-v-goias-v-pt-br-1sxz2-17.php

http://live247.gruposio.es/mun/Video-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-ffs30122020-.php

http://svt.munich.es/zzr/Video-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1rqs-5.php

http://vert.actiup.com/gwk/videos-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1cyx30122020-.php

http://news24.acaps.cat/vac/Video-coritiba-v-goias-v-pt-br-1ktz2-26.php

http://wap.dentisalut.com/mqk/Video-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1mli30122020-6.php

http://vert.actiup.com/gwk/video-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1xda-16.php

http://svt.munich.es/zzr/videos-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1fha-14.php

http://stream88.colomboserboli.com/niy/video-coritiba-v-goias-v-pt-br-1hvc2-4.php

https://assifonte.org/media/ept/video-coritiba-v-goias-v-pt-br-1ktx2-20.php

http://live247.gruposio.es/mun/video-sport-recife-v-fortaleza-v-pt-br-1bon2-6.php

http://vert.actiup.com/gwk/Video-Coritiba-Goias-v-en-gb-1xny-15.php

http://news24.acaps.cat/vac/videos-coritiba-v-goias-v-pt-br-1xub2-8.php

ng hard about being the receiver of bad news. I keep imagining what would have happened if I’d not gotten that call in the park. What if no one in that Pilates class had a phone lying beside them as she endeavored to take an hour off from a virus, job loss, and/or election stress? In the era before a stranger could call you while she was holding your husband’s hand to tell you he’d had a shitty bike accident, I would have finished my class and stopped to get coffee on the walk home. Then, as I made lunch for the kids, I would have gotten a call from the hospital. In the nineties, a friend of mine was at home in a D.C. suburb when she got the call that her mother had died in a glider accident. Her parents were in Vermont, taking a special ride to see the leaves changing color from above. “I ran out of the house, got in the car, and realized I still had the phone in my hand, Manoush. I pulled it out of the wall,” she later told me. Now we always have our phones in our hands.

I am 25 and cannot imagine having a child with big, curious eyes who wants to talk to me, and not always wanting to listen. But I am young and well-rested and well-fed and have not spent the day with an inquisitive 9-year-old with dirt under his fingernails.