I learned a lot from the most recent presidential debate, but my largest takeaway by far was how to identify the least r

Framing candidates as perfect or superhuman might help them win elections, but it hurts them in the long run. In the case of Barack Obama, many of his supporters turned on him the moment it became clear he could not reverse decades of political polarization or centuries of American racism just by getting elected. The virulent anger Obama currently inspires on some parts of the left is, yes, grounded in policy — drone wars, deportations — but it’s also grounded in the expectation that he could single-handedly fix every problem caused by George W. Bush’s disastrous presidency or force a Republican Congress to pass single-payer health care by sheer force of will. We built Obama up to be Superman, then yelled at him for not being able to fly.

Because if you don’t, you’re training the people in your life not to respect you. And worse, you’re destroying your own self-respect. Both of which will lead to a lot of unnecessary emotional pain and mental stress.

What are you teaching your own brain if you keep committing to starting a new workout regimen but then never following through on it? You’re teaching yourself that your goals don’t really matter to you and that you’re not a very reliable person.

There is every reason to worry about how Joe Biden will use his power. There were also reasons to worry about every other candidate on the ballot. Elections are the beginning of the work, not the end, and with Biden, the need to hold him accountable doesn’t come as a surprise. It’s a bigger blessing than you’d think. For once, we can stop thinking about whether we like the president and start thinking about whether his decisions are good for us. We can stop caring about Joe Biden and start caring about ourselves.

For the lucky few employees to work for a company on the path to IPO, it can take so long (sometimes a decade or more), that pay cuts for equity are not worth it. Founders and venture investors don’t have this problem. Founders often negotiate personal liquidity into their financing rounds and investors are paid a generous 2% in annual fees for the lifetime of their fund. It is only employees that have to sacrifice for their lottery ticket.

There is every reason to worry about how Joe Biden will use his power. There were also reasons to worry about every other candidate on the ballot. Elections are the beginning of the work, not the end, and with Biden, the need to hold him accountable doesn’t come as a surprise. It’s a bigger blessing than you’d think. For once, we can stop thinking about whether we like the president and start thinking about whether his decisions are good for us. We can stop caring about Joe Biden and start caring about ourselves.

Of course, you can’t just eradicate your expectations entirely. They have their uses now and then. The trick is to get in the habit of examining your expectations regularly and, if needed, updating them.

It is an odd artifact of history that private markets have zero liquidity, public markets have hyper-liquidity, and there is nothing in between. This illiquidity in private markets has created three problems.

We’re all stressed because modern life is just a stressful place. But as many stressors as we encounter and have to deal with in our lives, it’s much easier to deal with them well if our inner world is calm and peaceful.

We’re all stressed because modern life is just a stressful place. But as many stressors as we encounter and have to deal with in our lives, it’s much easier to deal with them well if our inner world is calm and peaceful.

Startup employees take lower salaries in exchange for equity. Today, the only path to liquidity is IPO or acquisition for which 99% of startup employees never see. For the overwhelming majority of startup employees, the equity lottery ticket is never redeemed and their paper wealth never converts to real wealth.

Joe Biden sometimes seemed to be the only serious presidential candidate without a fandom at his back, and his victory is, at least, an opportunity to get some peace and quiet. We can stop treating the president like a friend or a fashion choice and focus on how well he does his job. I didn’t vote for a daddy or a demigod. I voted for the guy who can sign his name to the executive order relieving my family’s student debt. If Joe Biden does that, I don’t need to like him, and if he doesn’t, I don’t really care how nice he is. I don’t expect this presidency, or any other, to single-handedly resolve problems centuries in the making, nor do I believe any politician when he says that “he alone can fix” what ails us. I just want someone who does more good than harm with the power they’re given, and if that balance tips in the other direction, I want them gone.

What are you teaching your adult child if you tell them they need to get a job and move out but keep letting them live for free in your house and subsidizing their video game addiction? You’re teaching him that your requests aren’t actually all that important.

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posed to teach a seminar in which the syllabus would include essays by Ralph Ellison, two of my colleagues wrote to the Curriculum Committee, as well as to the dean and the president of the college, objecting that it would be “literary blackface” for me to study Ellison. I am pleased to say that my department does not yet have a curriculum that would restrict white readers to studying books by white authors, and black readers to studying books by black authors, but there is at present an uncomfortable tension between the pressure to teach inclusively that seems to require all professors to teach more books by black authors, and the pressure to teach inclusively that would prohibit as “literary blackface” the teaching of black authors by white professors. It is not easy to do intellectual work in these conditions!

What are you teaching your boss if you tell her you don’t want to be emailed on the weekends but then go ahead and respond to her weekend emails anyway? You’re teaching her to not take your requests seriously.