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One of the traps ambitious people fall into is binding themselves to outcomes. Yes, it’s good to have goals. But once you’ve set them, you have to lock into the process. If you focus too much on the prize, the nerves will kick in, you’ll second guess yourself and you’ll find it impossible to get into a “flow” state where everything feels intuitive and easy.
A woman I was working with told me she hated uncertainty, that she thrived on structure, routines and To-Do lists, felt guilty when she wasn’t Achieving, liked things to be Black and White — definitely not Grey.
Schedule a block of time to just let things happen. Whatever you feel like doing or being, just go with it. If it stresses you out, make the time frame smaller until you can cope well.
If you’ve been feeling physically fatigued day after day, consistently stressed out by the thought of exercising, or just completely burnt out, it might be time to give your body a rest.
It’s human to pay a lot more attention to what goes wrong (or could go wrong)— than what goes right. It’s also human to zero in on your flaws. We all need to pay attention to what goes well and to what we’ve done well because it’s all evidence in the bank for our ability to cope. And once we have evidence of our mental strength, it’s impossible to deny it.
I once worked with a tennis player who measured himself by the rankings that came out every Monday. It taught him to benchmark himself against others — instead of himself and his own progress. It meant he could never enjoy his achievements, or even his sport. There was always more he had to do to “catch up”. The trouble was, he knew it was a futile exercise: there would always be someone better than him.
While there will always be some risk of injury when engaging in any exercise program, you can minimize your chances of getting injured by being smart, listening to your body, increasing your load gradually, and taking a rest day when necessary.
By listening to your own body and giving yourself permission to take a day off when necessary, you’ll develop a healthy relationship with exercise, which will ultimately help you find your happiest self.
Whenever I feel unmotivated to exercise for multiple days in a row, that’s usually a sign that I need to take a day off. When I listen to that signal, I always come back the following day feeling refreshed, recovered, and ready to hit it hard again.
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ssic and recently much-quoted novel The Plague, the main character Dr. Bernard Rieux struggles with this question as he tries to comprehend the estimated 100 million people who have died from plagues throughout history. “But what are a hundred million deaths?” he wonders. “When one has served in a war, one hardly knows what a dead man is, after a while. And since a dead man has no substance unless one has actually seen him dead, a hundred million corpses broadcast through history are no more than a puff of smoke in the imagination.” Recalling the plague at Constantinople that, according to the ancient historian Procopius, caused 10,000 deaths in a single day, Rieux still can’t visualize this smaller but still enormous mass casualty. “Ten thousand dead made about five times the audience in a biggish cinema. Yes, that was how it should be done. You should collect the people at the exits of five picture-houses, you should lead them to a city square and make them die in heaps if you wanted to get a clear notion of what it means. Then at least you could add some familiar faces to the anonymous mass. But naturally that was impossible to put into practice; moreover, what man knows ten thousand faces?”Think back through your past year to all the things you’ve done well and write them down. There’s something about seeing them in print that provides you with the social proof you need. If a year feels too onerous, start with a week. No matter how bad your week has felt, there will be something in it that you did well or could be proud of. Search it out and bank it.
“There is an increased likelihood of injury as fatigue sets in…although your muscles may “feel” ready to train, your central nervous system might be pretty fatigued leading to bad movement patterns and this can increase the chance of injury.”
That approach had worked well for her in business — but when she had to face the uncertainty of life — she lost her way. When I suggested learning to live in the grey zone she resisted; it made her feel anxious.
Of course, this list isn’t comprehensive. However, it’s a good starting point. Along with these signs, perhaps the most important indicator is how you’re feeling. Listen to your body, and if you’re really on the fence about whether or not you should exercise, you can always play it safe and take a rest day.
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