“I’m not saying you need to sit down as two zen masters and just share your feelings. No, you can have a blowout fight,

“If you live in the woods, and you get familiar with your neighborhood, you’re like, ‘Oh, this is a place where there’s a snake. This is a place where there’s poison ivy. This is a place where I’ll trip over this log every single time and sprain my ankle.’ Eventually, you’re just like: ‘Oh, I can avoid all these things.’”

Whatever problem you have in your relationship, when you talk about it, you’re already working on it. Bring up important issues. The trick here is to realize that anything is mentionable, as Mr. Rogers would say:

Or, in Andy’s words: “Fixer-upper is for houses, not people.” If your partner wants to change, that’s an effort you can support, but it’s not for you to decide when, how, and why other people evolve. That just leads to entitlement, gratification, and manipulation. The exception to the rule? Lead by example:

Just because you shouldn’t expect people to change does not mean you need to accept everything they do. This sounds like a contradiction, but actually, it’s a balance. Maintaining this balance is why, sometimes, the only way to advance a relationship is to end it.

Not pushing your partner’s buttons is a good start, but you’ll also have to let go of bigger issues — as long as they are not more important than the relationship itself. Andy learned this in his relationship with Margie:

One reason your relationship will naturally reach a point of conflict is that — duh — you’re two different people! Eventually, you’ll disagree on something, and that segues right into Margie’s next lesson:

“The importance of the relationship always took precedence over everything else. The relationship is like the queen bee. Nothing else matters. Protect the queen. Even if I was resolute, ‘I am right and she is wrong,’ I was like, ‘Is it really important enough to cause a fracture?’ And it wasn’t. Ever.”

“Adult relationships are not like parent-child relationships,” Margie says. “When a parent loves a child, it really is unconditional.” When two adults come together, however, it’s normal to expect some form of give and take.

http://m.dentisalut.com/ltc/videos-napoli-v-la-spezia-v-it-it-1qor2-14.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/videos-crotone-v-roma-v-it-it-1poa2-2.php

http://m.dentisalut.com/ltc/videos-napoli-v-la-spezia-v-it-it-1xno2-18.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/Video-crotone-v-roma-v-it-it-1gin2-7.php

http://m.dentisalut.com/ltc/videos-napoli-v-la-spezia-v-it-it-1bzv2-4.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/videos-crotone-v-roma-v-it-it-1qkz2-26.php

http://m.dentisalut.com/ltc/video-Napoli-Spezia-v-en-gb-1age30122020-.php

http://m.dentisalut.com/ltc/video-Napoli-Spezia-v-en-gb-1beq30122020-20.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/video-crotone-v-roma-v-it-it-1vsk2-19.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/videos-Crotone-Roma-v-en-gb-1ohe30122020-.php

http://m.dentisalut.com/ltc/video-Napoli-Spezia-v-en-gb-1cye-10.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/videos-Crotone-Roma-v-en-gb-1caz30122020-22.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/video-Crotone-Roma-v-en-gb-1gah-10.php

http://vert.actiup.com/vyw/Video-Crotone-Roma-v-en-gb-1vql30122020-17.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/Video-lazio-v-fiorentina-v-it-it-1wpc2-10.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/Video-lazio-v-fiorentina-v-it-it-1aye2-24.php

http://m.dentisalut.com/ltc/Video-Milan-Juventus-v-en-gb-lhh-.php

http://vert.actiup.com/vyw/video-lazio-v-fiorentina-v-it-it-1pzr2-20.php

http://m.dentisalut.com/ltc/v-ideos-Milan-Juventus-v-en-gb-epx-.php

http://agro.ruicasa.com/gms/video-lazio-v-fiorentina-v-it-it-1zzv2-20.php

owcases the implementation of the Circuit Breaker pattern, where when Service 1 understands there are continuous failures/ timeouts when Service 2 is called, instead of retrying, Service 1 trips the calls to Service 2 and returns the fallback response.

Margie’s hero is Mr. Rogers, who, for over 30 years, taught children about feelings, rationality, and relationships through his TV show. Her favorite quotes of his is that, “if it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.” In other words:

“The most important lesson is to understand that we cannot change other people. Other people are beautiful and perfect as they are. They don’t exist to be who we need them to be.”

If your partner starts smoking and smoking is a no-go for you, you can observe the situation for a while. You can see if they have a desire to stop you can support, and you can try being accommodating to your partner’s habit. Realistically, however, you can neither expect them to change nor give up your principle. This might be a line in the sand you can’t overcome.

“If you’re willing to change yourself, you can change the relationship — and thereby change the person. But that’s not because you changed them, it’s because you allowed yourself to be part of that change.”

Your relationship will never be the only thing that matters in your life, but you’ll face situations in which you must decide that it matters more than anything else. Margie confirms:

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”