In academic medical centers there have been studies, and there are now standing programs, for taking care of the emotion

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ted a series of tweets about how he was stepping down from the Oscars while then apologizing for his old jokes. He even went on Ellen to continue his apology tour, which he could have just done in the beginning. But it was too late. Hart had become the face of a battle over “cancel culture,” using the example of his having to answer for years-old offenses as a symptom of a society that’s too sensitive to allow artists to express themselves. Hart was the symbol of a belief that free speech and comedy were under attack by a population of snowflakes hell-bent on ruining artistry. Whenever “cancel culture” arguments emerge, Hart’s name is sure to follow — as are the ahistorical claims that he was “kicked off” the Oscars. Dave Chappelle, another warrior on the front lines of a fictional war against “cancellation,” even did a whole bit on Hart as the victim.

Of course, relationships don’t run in one direction. And those that do are bound to fail. So, after you’ve considered your partner’s traits, there’s one question left to ask: are you generous too?

Even if they have big plans and dreams of their own, they make space for yours. They don’t belittle your ideas or pour ice water on your endeavours. They help you to go after what makes you feel happy or content.

No matter how much in love you are, your partner is — and should be — different from you. If you don’t enjoy (or at least accept) the differences between you, you’re in trouble.

This year alone, 1.8 million people will be diagnosed with cancer. No one will be surprised to learn that distress, anxiety, and depression often follow such news. These states will evolve throughout the treatment cycle; some will improve, others will worsen. Families will also struggle. Unfortunately, identification of emotional problems and offers of help often do not fit in with usual care. Patients and family members are infrequently monitored for depression. Before a major cancer center opened near my office, I only received referrals from oncologists when a patient was difficult to deal with.

They’re not most commonly located on the couch with a box of popcorn and the remote control. Okay, sometimes they are but they’re also up for sharing the load — the chores, the responsibilities with the kids/pets, the life admin, the “emotional weight”; everything the two of you have built.

Unequal splits in load-sharing is one of the most common relationship niggles (or big conflict points) between couples who’ve been together for a while. No-one can do everything, so be fair about your division of labour.

I’m referring to life experiences we consider normal — in the sense that they happen, expectedly, to nearly everyone. Many reliably lead to emotional difficulties that will fester without some kind of concerted intervention. Naming and understanding these experiences can go a long way to supporting those who suffer because of them.

The four common occurrences I most often see people struggle with are: major medical illness, infertility and miscarriage, divorce, and unemployment. Each is a major life event that in many cases also becomes an emotional crisis. I can testify after 30 years as a community psychiatrist, that except in rare cases, none of these (on their own) are referred for psychological treatment. What follows is a quick tour of these otherwise common occurrences and a look at what needs to change to make them less painful.

This doesn’t mean neglect you in favour of other people or they give away all your stuff. It means they treat all people with respect, including people who can’t improve their social status or help them get a better job. They offer their time, energy and expertise freely when they can AND they’re innately good-humoured about it.

There are many common life circumstances that bring with them formidable emotional issues; enduring those necessary chapters of life can tip the balance and bring about a psychiatric disorder.

Problems with our mental well-being, which can stem from psychiatric disorders, are usually thought of as coming from one of two places. Either you’ve had a troubled upbringing or you have bad genes. Both are, in a sense, bad luck and thus assumed to be uncommon. But are these two pathways really the main routes to emotional problems? In fact, there are many common life circumstances that bring with them formidable emotional issues; enduring those necessary chapters of life can tip the balance and bring about a psychiatric disorder.

This patient did well in treatment with me. In a couple of months his mood, anxiety, and even acne greatly improved. Unfortunately, he had endured 10 years of anxiety and discomfort before finally getting the treatment he needed. Sadly, this delay is often par for the course when it comes to sorting through — and appropriately treating — common life problems that have understandable, and even severe, emotional consequences.

Of course, relationships don’t run in one direction. And those that do are bound to fail. So, after you’ve considered your partner’s traits, there’s one question left to ask: are you generous too?

In my out-patient psychiatric practice, I recently treated a young man who had, among other problems, severe acne. He told me that his dermatologist had begun a new treatment. My patient asked the doctor how long before there might be results. The dermatologist replied, “It depends on your emotional state.” Something inside the young man leapt with excitement to hear this, as he thought he might finally have the chance to talk about his chronic anxiety. But the dermatologist simply concluded the appointment and told him to return in a month.