In other words, there’s enough of me in the room already. But that’s the same for everyone. There really is such a thing

Because true love very much is like forming a strong addiction. Just how much of an addiction? According to research conducted by Syracuse University, strong love releases the exact same chemicals in the brain as doing cocaine.

Anyway, one of the girls had me smitten. It was more the bubbly personality, laugh, and slight awkwardness more than anything else. For whatever reason, an askew awkwardness, especially upon meeting, is especially attractive. It doesn’t feel glossed over or an act. It’s authentic. Eventually, we started dating. I don’t even understand how I pulled that one-off. There was an older gentleman who would come in, grab a pita, then go over to the tanning salon to flirt with the girls. The day he found out I was dating her he came in, stood there, and just watched me. A way-too-long kind of watch. When I asked what was up he said: I’m trying to figure out how you pulled it off.

Early on in my college years, I worked at a pita joint. Think Subway but with pitas. The tanning salon next door had an obvious hiring policy: attractive, thin, perky. Maybe that’s the kind of person who applied to work at a college tanning salon, I don’t know. Can’t say I’m fully abreast of the day-to-day operations of tanning bed operators.

However, the chemical release doesn’t happen with just anyone. You can’t trick yourself into falling in love. Your brain knows when you’re attracted at a physical, mental, and emotional level. It’s also why sex with someone you love feels different than a one night stand. Sex will always release some level of dopamine in the brain, but combine that with the love-addiction chemicals of adrenalin, vasopressin, oxytocin (to name a few).

While quantifying whether you’re with the perfect person for you in the entire world isn’t possible, there are ways to figure out whether the two of you are right for one another, or if your soulmate is still out there, lost, in search of you.

Addiction to your special someone doesn’t automatically mean you’ve met your soulmate, but it’s a feeling that doesn’t come along with many others, so at the very least you’re on the right track.

When you first start dating someone your brain likely goes one of two ways. You either think of them all the time, or you think of them only when they’re brought up in a conversation, they text you, you see their picture, or at random points of the day.

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g clause, but I’ll try to explain it. If the random number between 0 and 100 falls within the disasterChance range (for us, that is 10%), then a disaster is initiated. We generate a random number to figure out how much damage we’ll do. It’ll fall between 5% and 20%. We’ll multiply this by the length of the people dictionary to get a 5–20% slice of the population. We’ll then cut that slice out (effectively killing 5–20% of our population).

Why is all this thinking about someone so important? Because, according to a Stony Brook University study, the very chemical makeup of your brain changes when you’re truly in love with someone. It alters the reactions within the brain. Like your brain has placed billboards of the person you love on every street corner.

If you’ve been through a bad breakup before (my hand is raised) it feels more than devastating. As if something in your body actually broke. In many ways, it’s not too different from someone addicted to cocaine going cold turkey. Your body no longer releases the chemicals it’s become accustomed to receiving.

Whether you count yourself in the believer’s category or not, the idea of a perfect match is sometimes enough to keep you going. But wouldn’t it be nice to know if you’re with your soulmate? Is it possible to determine this? Or is it simply you know when you know?

Do you love spending time with your partner? Is it to the point where as soon as you leave their presence you can’t wait until your next date? Does time drag on between those dates to the point you absolutely need to call them or talk to them or see their face mere hours later?

The idea has bubbled up for centuries. A romanticized idea of one perfect mate for everyone on this planet. All you need to do is sift through the sand and uncover that one piece of gold, destined for you.

Has someone ever told you they have the perfect person to match you up with because you’re alike in many ways? It’s happened to me, and it’s a major turnoff. I don’t want someone that’s like me. I’m around me all day. The dogs are around me all day and there are times when I walk into the room they’ll get up and leave.

When you see the person your brain releases these chemicals, so you are actually receiving a similar high as if you were taking narcotics. This means you, in the truest sense of the word, are addicted to your partner.