In the end, I feel grateful for my “missed opportunities.” I feel grateful to have had a friend like Laurie, who gave me

First, fire needs air to breathe. Next, it takes a fuel supply. Maybe dry leaves and sticks. Then, something to add speed — lighter fluid, kerosene. In the end, a spark is what ignites.

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eo is hot again — professionally, speaking. Stories can help grab the attention of LinkedIn users who are online at ungodly hours, trying not to open Twitter again. Don’t, however, treat Stories like Instagram or TikTok. Here’s a teachable moment: One night, I chugged three bottles of red and posted a video to LinkedIn of me “Netwerking.” I received several unprofessional messages as a result, and guess what I did? I responded to every single one of them because you never know where your next opportunity might be.

Spoiler alert: I never had an affair. I never cheated on my husband in our 16 years of marriage. Not with Brian, not with anyone else. I saw Brian quite a bit in the writing community, and we even developed a friendship that started out for me as a little breathless and dangerous. I don’t know how he felt because I never asked. There were certain doors I did not want to knock on.

It took me some time to work through those feelings. The pain of longing is real; understanding where I was vulnerable and tender and why… that took time. What would draw me to a sense of rage? Why would I crave boldness and honesty?

I told her about Brian, and she listened without judging. She was curious about the aspects of him that I admired. I admired what I saw as his boldness, his lack of caring if he pissed people off, his ruthless honesty, and even something in him that felt like rage. She asked me to consider if these weren’t aspects of myself that I either wanted to develop or to stop hiding or know more about. She said, “When you know more about these parts in yourself, the energy of the attraction will dissipate.”

In the end, I feel grateful for my “missed opportunities.” I feel grateful to have had a friend like Laurie, who gave me the questions to ask about being attracted to someone outside my marriage. I am grateful she didn’t judge me. She made the time for me and encouraged me to take the time to understand what I could about the unfulfilled or unseen places in me. As I discovered more about those places, I grew into a more full version of myself. I’m grateful I know myself to be bold and honest. I’m grateful I know how to channel my rage and express it creatively.

That was pretty eye-opening. Maybe the current of electricity running through me was partly my own desire to embody some of those characteristics. Maybe it wasn’t inevitable or destiny or even necessary that I make that desire concrete by cheating on my husband. Instead, I could make it concrete by seeing it in myself or developing myself to be more like what I desired.

Apple has a clear edge here as they don’t need to spend money developing lots of architectures. They can focus on making chips for their limited selection of products. Apple has tons of money they can throw at a very limited set of of chip designs.

I channeled all that tension, and wondering, and confusion as creatively as I could — through poetry at that time in my life — this poem was a direct result and appeared in a journal called Margie in 2009.

I never did. And though it’s said that people regret what they don’t do in life more than what they do, I can honestly say I don’t regret never having an affair. I’d already felt what it felt like to cheat when I was in my twenties. It didn’t feel good.

As long as there is marriage, as long as people pair up and pledge faithfulness to one another, there will be affairs. I am not so pious as to say all affairs are wrong or the destruction that comes from affairs never has a silver lining. I believe that we are human, we make mistakes, we hurt people and are messy, and we also need love and connection.

The funny thing is, it wasn’t me that cheated in my marriage. Eventually, it came to light that the person I was married to was unfaithful often and over many years. Perhaps honesty, even ruthless honesty, felt like such a draw for me because dishonesty percolated under the surface of my marriage like poison in a mad scientist’s lab.

There was a time period after I discovered my husband’s infidelities when I hoped to mend our marriage. People in our lives who knew our situation said, “You have a hall pass! Don’t you just want to go for it? How will you ever be able to not resent him if you don’t have sex with somebody else?”

What I did instead was talk to a trusted friend and mentor, Laurie. A dear woman who is like an older sister to me — who’d been twice married — once divorced, once widowed. She knew (and knows) more than anyone else in my life about love and desire and the parts of ourselves that we cannot see but that have a lot of energy and exert great influence on us.

There is nothing inherently superior about the x86 architecture which suggests it should stay ahead performance-wise for all future. Quite the contrary ARM has an ISA which is better suited to make a high performance architecture. Eventually this will be a numbers game. Both Intel and AMD will be facing an army of ARM makers, they cannot beat all of them in the long run. And typically the winner will be whoever can throw most cash at the problem.