In the world of COVID-19, our stories about anxiety are particularly problematic, with many people crippled by uncertain

This is the narrative, and maybe there’s some truth to it. But I think people get the cause wrong. I was a good kid who didn’t drink until I was an adult. In fact, I waited until it was legal just to keep following the rules.

Our lives are defined by what we repeatedly do. These habitual behaviours not only impact our external world — but they determine how we think and feel. As neuroscience shows, these actions also change the shape of our brains.

When this kind of internal dialogue goes unchecked, you’re in serious trouble. It is therefore crucial that you reframe this self-talk. For example, words and phrases such as “I can’t,” “If only,” “I must,” or “COVID-19 made me feel that way” should be replaced with proactive language such as “I will,” “I choose to,” and “Let’s look at this another way.”

But it’s not just our brain structure that changes. When we implement positive habits into our lives, we also change the age of our brains. By doing this, we live longer, reduce the risk of dementia and cognitive decline, and we have superior physical function over those with an ‘older brain.’

Word usage: I’m going to use the term “good kid” loosely here. It isn’t meant as a moral judgment. It’s just the easiest shorthand I could find for a kid that strives to follow the rules that adults and society set out for them.

The reason is pretty clear in my head. It was actually because I didn’t rebel. I wasn’t a rulebreaker. I tried to follow the rules publicly. I didn’t want people to know I drank more than them. And this led to secrecy.

There’s a narrative in our culture about the good kids. It goes like this. The straight-A, rule-following (or religiously devout) kids get to college or move out of the house and then all that repression comes out in a flash of rebellion.

You’ve probably guessed already how I tried to achieve this, especially if you’re anything like me. I would simply drink before a social function (pregaming). This way I could have the same number as everyone else, but secretly I’d have way more.

Another way people think of this narrative is that strict parenting leads to rebellion once the kid moves away, and this pent up rebellion explodes all at once — causing problematic use of drugs (movies usually add in sex as well).

This secrecy was one of many roots of my problematic relationship with alcohol. Good kids want to keep appearing as if they are good, so they hide their rulebreaking. Once we start hiding how much we drink, that web of lies and secrecy starts to spread through many aspects of our lives, driving us back to more alcohol.

You should also monitor the questions you ask yourself. For instance, replacing “Why me?” with “What can I do about this?” will provide you with a sense of control. When you replace such reactive language with more proactive language, it will instil in you a sense of strength, directing you toward corrective action rather than worrying about what you cannot change.

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ue that can be used is a basket analysis. This analysis identifies the likelihood that one or more items are purchased alongside another item. A toothbrush alongside a toothpaste or mouthwash may make sense, but there could be other products that trigger the sales. The result from an analysis are suggestions for how products are mentioned on website pages, app pages, or in value coupons. Even having them appear alongside in a video would be helpful.

I’ll share some of the key moments that I now can see after much reflection. The weird thing is that it was impossible to see this at the time. I actually still have a serious problem with hiding stuff that doesn’t matter at all.

The good kids are the ones that go wild once they no longer have to follow the rules. The idea is that we (I count myself among them) secretly desired to be breaking all the rules the whole time. We just needed an outlet to do it.

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