I’ve always been of average weight. I’ve spent most of my life between 130 and 140 pounds at 5’4. I’ve never even strugg

What to do if he is you: Take a long look in the mirror. Take stock of where you are in life and where you want to be. Can you honestly say your life is working out exactly as you’ve planned? If you see women you’ve hurt in your rearview mirror and a life that’s a bit more empty than you’d like it to be, it might be time to reassess your lifestyle and priorities. And grow the hell up.

Through solution-based therapy, I learned about a pair of questions that can help you identify exactly what you need to do to move forward each day. I’ve been asking myself these questions every night, right before bed — research shows that our brains can make creative connections while we sleep — and I’ve noticed an incredible difference in my mood and outlook. Try them yourself:

Remember Marcus from Boomerang? He tossed women around like they were appetizers to a main dish he never planned to order. This character (played by Eddie Murphy) became an archetype for the modern fuckboy who is always looking for casual sex (or any entanglement that ends with remaining single). All that is fine — we’re all grown. But the boomerang fuckboy takes it a step further. If someone wants more than just sex, he’ll pretend he does, too. His whole schtick is that he wants to settle down, but he just hasn’t found the right person yet. If he is in a relationship, don’t count on him being faithful. He’s the real-life embodiment of those memes featuring Future as a toxic ex.

She hoped to save up for another surgery, one where they’d excise all that excess skin, but she passed before she could have it done. She ended up in the hospital with complications and died of a staph infection.

We often think the key to a happier life is to make big, sweeping changes to the one we’re currently living. But focusing only on grand moves — changing our careers or overhauling our personalities, for example — often just leaves us feeling overwhelmed. A better strategy is to make incremental improvements. Over time, small tweaks can lead to a profound difference.

She lost weight, a hell of a lot in a short amount of time. Her excess skin hung off her. She could stretch it a couple of feet off her. She still had a good sense of humor about it, but anyone could tell she was hurting.

Why just add one? Because it’s achievable. If you add more than that — if you try to go from a 3 to a 9, for example — you’ll probably feel anxious about the huge undertaking and decide to put it off for later.

She was excited and nervous. She thought it would mean she and her husband would have sex again (they hadn’t in a very long time). She thought it would mean the end to her body hatred and discomfort.

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s that attract millions of monthly downloads, he hands out his email address. On one podcast episode, the interviewer says “Are you sure you want to do that?” when Derek blindly promotes his email address and mentions how easy he is to contact.

What to do if he is you: There are tons of sites, apps, and books dedicated to financial solvency. But to begin, start super small: Create a budget you can live by and stick with it. Eventually, you’ll work your way up to a financial whiz.

The great thing about these two questions is that they help you improve your life in a way that doesn’t feel like work. Asking them is a one-minute habit that you can start tonight — and eventually, you may find that your happiness number has gone up. If you once had a long streak of 7s, you may now find your days mostly 8s and 9s (you might even have a handful of 10s sprinkled in there). Without doing anything drastic, you’re now a happier version of you.

Can he change? Absolutely! All it takes is some education and small money management habits that can have big payoffs in the long run. Try trading in the daily Starbucks run for home brewing. Or downsizing on an apartment in order to save for homeownership. A little bit of motivation goes a long way.

The great thing about these two questions is that they help you improve your life in a way that doesn’t feel like work. Asking them is a one-minute habit that you can start tonight — and eventually, you may find that your happiness number has gone up. If you once had a long streak of 7s, you may now find your days mostly 8s and 9s (you might even have a handful of 10s sprinkled in there). Without doing anything drastic, you’re now a happier version of you.

What to do if he is you: Take a long look in the mirror. Take stock of where you are in life and where you want to be. Can you honestly say your life is working out exactly as you’ve planned? If you see women you’ve hurt in your rearview mirror and a life that’s a bit more empty than you’d like it to be, it might be time to reassess your lifestyle and priorities. And grow the hell up.

The wording is important. The question “What would be different?” sends your brain on a mission to search for small, achievable changes you can implement to make your life just a little bit better the next day. Maybe you’ll decide to get outdoors for 20 minutes, or call an old friend for a quick catch-up session. Do this consistently over the weeks and months and those changes will start to add up.