Let me give you a simple example. I once hired a UX designer for a specific mobile redesign effort. During the first wee

If you’re a candidate looking for work, keep your interactions friendly but always professional. Understand the cultures and norms of the people and teams you interact with. It’s important to note that respect goes both ways. It’s a shared human trait that helps build friendships and great working relationships.

It’s not that hard to see. We just complicate it because sometimes, denial is easier than the truth. But it is often so plainly written, it becomes tough to read. The relationships that last are the ones in which growth is prioritized, connection is fostered, and the gaps and doubts and struggles you experience help you get better — not worse — as we go along.

Sure, life is complicated. Things get hard. But the point of the main relationship in your life is to assist you in becoming the person you want and are meant to be. The purpose is to continue to grow, together, at once, in the same direction.

As UX practitioners, we promote empathy for the users. Having empathy is having respect with a slightly different lens. It’s a powerful emotion because it allows us to view situations from someone else’s vantage point. In my mind, this is a sign of respect that can be applied to any circumstance.

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If you are with someone who you’re afraid to talk to, afraid to confront, afraid to express yourself to, out of fear that they would leave you? That is not your person. If you are with someone with whom you never argue because neither of you is being totally transparent about your needs? That is not your person.

This, of course, overlaps with proactiveness. Each character trait builds on one another. When you’re confronted with new challenges or missing skillsets, don’t complain or dwell on your lack of knowledge. Dive in and learn what you must to help the team, even if it’s not in line with your core capabilities. This is especially easy nowadays with online courses, articles, and videos.

If you are with someone who drives you into isolation, you aren’t with the right person. If you are with someone who won’t commit to you right here and now, you are not with the right person. If you are with someone who seems disinterested in making your problems better, who would rather be right than be happy, you are not with the right person.

But most of all, if you are with someone with whom your relationship gets harder over time, that is not your person. The key to a relationship that works is that, as the years go on, you learn each other, you adapt to each other, you grow more fond of one another, you bond more closely together, you become better at navigating conflict, and you grow out of romantic counterparts, and into genuine best friendship.

If you’re with someone who claims to love you but wants to explore “what else is out there” just a little bit more? That is not your person. If you’re with someone who says you’re perfect for them, but just not “right now?” That is not your person. If you’re with someone who you are afraid not to be with, and that fear is the reason you stay? That is not your person.

Having respect for others goes without saying, but again, actions speak louder than words. Out of the three traits, this may be the easiest to spot in an interview. Do the candidates show up on time? Are they respectful and professional in email exchanges, etc.?

It’s not that hard to see. We just complicate it because sometimes, denial is easier than the truth. But it is often so plainly written, it becomes tough to read. The relationships that last are the ones in which growth is prioritized, connection is fostered, and the gaps and doubts and struggles you experience help you get better — not worse — as we go along.

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ing a great programmer doesn’t make you a senior developer. Their skillset is much more than just programming. And being a good communicator is one of those skills. One might argue that communication skills are just as important as programming skills.

I’m not proposing that you simply throw your desire to perform UX work out the window. What I’m saying is that you have to have the flexibility and aptitude to learn and accomplish what must be tackled to get the work done and support the team. This leads to my final trait, respect.

As UX practitioners, we promote empathy for the users. Having empathy is having respect with a slightly different lens. It’s a powerful emotion because it allows us to view situations from someone else’s vantage point. In my mind, this is a sign of respect that can be applied to any circumstance.