Great relationships are built on compromise. That doesn’t striking deals or rolling over to all your partner’s desires (or demands) or giving up your own identity. It means accepting the person you’re with, not hustling to change them or wishing they were different. It means coming to an understanding about both your needs and knowing what matters most to each of you.
This one sounds obvious — because it is. Good partners are considerate: they do kind, thoughtful things for each other, even if it’s not their “love language” to do so. When making your own choices, you should consider your partner’s feelings. Going to be out late? Call them. Want to go away for a weekend on your own? Discuss it with them. Want to take up a high-risk hobby? Or come off your meds? Or move your mother in upstairs? TALK ABOUT IT. Staying true to yourself is good; being selfish is not.
Can you make each other laugh? Laughter is the surprising secret to many great relationships: humour (of the positive kind) can positively influence relationship satisfaction. You don’t have to run stand-up comedy routines or have exactly the same sense of humour, but to banter, to share an in-joke, or a belly laugh, to know the other person “gets it”, is binding in a relationship. It can hold even struggling couples together. And, at the very least, it can make a grey day seem brighter.
When you love someone, showing them is better than telling them. When you stop loving someone, telling them is better than showing them. When you love someone, one of the best things you can do is let them know that you do.
As the saying goes, when you get some free time, who you gonna call? That doesn’t mean spending every waking minute with your partner. It just means you like being with them — and create ways to make it happen.
If you always need to be right or get your own way then, sorry, you’re not good partner material. It’s really tiring to be with someone who always has to have the last word. And it’s unhealthy to be with someone who needs to dominate.
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eative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.When you love someone, showing them is better than telling them. When you stop loving someone, telling them is better than showing them. When you love someone, one of the best things you can do is let them know that you do.
I think that when you truly love someone, every single day you spend with them, you fall in love even more. Every day you spend with that person is like an adventure into their soul. You discover that love is in the heart because you love them even when you do not see them.
Sex, cuddles, touch, banter, a shared joke — being close in whatever ways work for you BOTH. And, when you’ve drifted apart, noticing it and finding ways to come back together.
In other words, how would you characterize your relationship with this person? How secure and safe do you feel? Are you preoccupied with this person and anxiously concerned that he or she will leave you?
Willingness is the key here. Spending 1,000 silent hours at the opposite ends of the couch with your eyes fixed on television doesn’t count. Nor does the time you spend together because you have nothing better to do.
Many relationships have been hobbled by one partner’s inability to express what’s going on for them. To be fair, some people really are the “strong, silent” types — it’s hard, if not excruciating, for them to express what they are feeling. But you need to try. If you’re struggling, your partner deserves to know about it, so they can (1) understand your behaviour and (2) help and support you.
Healthy two-way communication is important but if you have to choose between talking and listening, go with listening — every time. Your ability to really HEAR what your partner is saying — to see the world from their perspective — makes all the difference. Being able to understand your partner’s view is invaluable because it helps guide your behaviour.
If you’re in a happy relationship you’ll know how much it contributes to your overall wellbeing. And if you’re in (or have been in) a miserable one, you’ll know just how fast it can take you the other way.
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