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After a brief remission last fall, I had a pretty terrible flare. The pain was exquisite. (I love that description of pain — as if this particular pain was a masterpiece, a perfection of pain, a fucking Mona Lisa or a three-star Michelin dinner.) I felt like I had the flu, like my bones were breaking. I lost 15 pounds in a month. I had been trying to grow my hair out from a pixie cut, but it would break off somewhere around my ear lobes. I’ve always had thick, wonderful hair, the kind often described as “luxurious,” but it was suddenly sickly too.

“Pain isn’t real; it’s just an electrical signal sent from an injured part of the body to the brain.” This is the mantra (or some variation of it) that self-help books tell us to repeat to remind ourselves that the terrible, mind-altering (literally, physically mind-altering) pain we are suffering is not really real pain (by which they mean the pain from an acute injury: a cut, a broken bone, a burn, a heart attack), but only a message we can choose to ignore. But what if it is “real?” What if it is another sense, like vision, that feels something out there or in here that we can’t sense in other ways? A sense for violence. A sense for things that break and cut, burn and penetrate. A sense for things that are breaking in a way we can’t sense otherwise. What would it feel like if the liver was trying to communicate that it was processing too much insulin and failing?

Having said that, I think it’s important for us to realize how cities for people bring so many advantages to our quality of life while being closely linked to sustainability and safety. This shows the amazing potential this type of city has to solve 21st-century hurdles, such as carbon dioxide emissions, urban mobility issues, air quality, and many others. The only bad news people-friendly cities carry is for cars.

For a moment, I felt lighter, brighter, but the pain was still attached to me. Maybe I should have performed some ritual with the cut-off hair, buried or burned it. Maybe I didn’t do enough — that is always the next thought: What could I have done differently to keep the pain away? Or maybe the story I was telling didn’t have an ending (no burning or burying, no ritual), so it keeps going.

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b and x are vectors, and σ is the sigmoid function. (Of course, there can be are other activations, but we shall stick to this for simplicity.) How would you calculate this gradient? At this point, it is not even clear how to define the gradient for vector-vector functions such as this, so let’s discuss! A function

A bit of background, I am a seasoned Data Science leader from a fully qualified actuary and quantitative background. In my career, I have delivered successful data science transformation for existing organisation capability or greenfield projects.

Doctors’ logic is that patients lie; lab results and imaging don’t. Of course, we know that’s not true either. Lab results are often inconclusive or simply false or they don’t give enough of the picture. For example, although RA factor is tested to determine if a patient has rheumatoid arthritis, 15% to 20% of patients with RA test negative for RA factor, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine. Imaging is often misread by technicians and radiologists, and some tissues are invisible to certain types of imaging.

My most sincere thanks to Jonathan Blitzer who read through many drafts of this essay and helped me craft something I think even Christian would have deemed worthy of publication.

As stated by Jan Gehl, the more highways are built, the more cars appear, but — fortunately — the same goes for bikes. The more cycling infrastructure, the more people will feel invited to bike. He demonstrates this point by referencing the process that’s been happening in Copenhagen for the past few decades. The city’s been removing car lanes and parking lots to create better and safer conditions for bikes. The population, year by year, is increasingly invited to use their bikes.

Having said that, I think it’s important for us to realize how cities for people bring so many advantages to our quality of life while being closely linked to sustainability and safety. This shows the amazing potential this type of city has to solve 21st-century hurdles, such as carbon dioxide emissions, urban mobility issues, air quality, and many others. The only bad news people-friendly cities carry is for cars.

We can only talk about pain in terms of itself because there is no language for pain outside of pain. The pain itself is a sense, a feeling that we don’t recognize like seeing and smelling and hearing. Instead of sensing light or chemicals or audio waves, pain is the sense for things that are breaking or being broken, which is happening all the time around us and to us, inside us. Maybe we are feeling the pain of things breaking out there as well and instead of listening and changing or understanding, we ignore and control.

Anyone who experiences pain knows this: Pain is real. As real as every other signal we receive and sense we have. Vision, hearing, smell, taste, pain. The world and our bodies are telling us something, and we have chosen to numb the message rather than see the broken and breaking things that are creating the sensation. Sometimes these are things we cannot fix: an abusive sexist boss, toxic racism at work, backbreaking work at a thankless job, the pain in our leg that doctors tell us doesn’t exist so we just keep going. The pain of loneliness (social brokenness), of microaggressions, of powerlessness, of discrimination, disappointment, and loss.

My most sincere thanks to Jonathan Blitzer who read through many drafts of this essay and helped me craft something I think even Christian would have deemed worthy of publication.

Pain — has an Element of Blank — It cannot recollect When it begun — or if there were A time when it was not — It has no Future — but itself — Its Infinite Contain Its Past — enlightened to perceive New Periods — of Pain. — Emily Dickinson

Businesses are increasingly reducing, offloading, and offshoring their data science capabilities. Once dubbed as “The Sexiest Job of the 21st Century” by Harvard Business Review and other leading publications, what went wrong?