Once the questions have come to a close and you have the answers that you need, it’s important to let the dust settle. R

We can only learn so much from simply watching our partners. At some point, you have to sit down and be candid with one another. Don’t leave room for misunderstanding when it’s so easy to be honest with the people you love and respect. Ask them what they want from their futures. Delve into their past experiences and the things they fear most. Only when we’re on the same page can we commit with integrity and hope of success.

Emotional awareness and emotional wellness both feed into the stability, equability, and longevity of our partnerships. You need to know how your potential partner is feeling about things, but you also need to notice — from a distance — how they handle or deal with their emotions. This relationship (between individual and their feelings) is closely tied to their reactions and interaction with others and their environment in general.

Honesty and vulnerability are crucial to any relationship, but they are especially important to a long-term or serious relationship. You need to be sure that the person you’re committing to is willing to open up to you, and when they do you need to make sure they’re being honest with you. Watch your partner. Question them. Are they being honest with you? It’s an answer you must have before moving on to the next stage.

Before we take a leap into the deep end of the pool, there are some crucial questions we should as ourselves and our partners. From questions that touch on family history to emotion, we need to have a full picture of who we’re settling down with before we open ourselves up to hurt and disappointment.

So you’ve asked the questions, but you didn’t get the answers that you wanted. What comes next? Rather than giving up, you need to regroup and reconsider what you want to do. Maybe their answers are enough, and maybe they aren’t. You need to get back to the core of your needs and then take positive action in the direction of your happiness and fulfillment.

Don’t leap into a serious commitment before you’re clear on where your partner is at. You need to ask your potential partner about their past, and you need to make sure where you know where they’re standing emotionally. We need to want the same things from our futures, and we need to be on the same page physically and mentally. Ask the right questions and take the right action so that you can get yourself into a partnership that works.

Long-lasting relationships work because the partners involved are working toward the same goals in their lives. It’s not about liking the same football team or color. Those things won’t keep you together when life gets rough. What will keep you bonded and focused is having the same goals. When you’re working toward the same aims in life, you can overcome hardship side-by-side.

While we aren’t responsible for the quality of life our partner leads, we should encourage them to be a better version of themselves. Our relationships shouldn’t make us worse. They shouldn’t bring out our worst behaviors and beliefs, and they shouldn’t make us feel small. Ask your partner for the truth. Do they feel like a better person when they’re in a relationship with you?

We often leap into relationships that are doomed for failure because we don’t take the time to honestly look before we commit in the most dramatic fashion. This looking includes considering our needs, but it also includes considering the needs (and desires) of the people we consider bringing into our lives on an intimate level. Maybe you know what you want, but are you explicitly clear on those same things in the person you’re falling for?

Our social circles are an important part of our support networks, but they can also be important indicators of who we really are. Look to your partner (or potential partners) — what do their friend groups look like? Do they always take precedence over you? Are they filled with drama and conflict? Are you kept entirely separate from them? All of these are signs you should look out for.

Avoid committing before you ask the tough questions. This includes questions on family relationships, what their friendship groups are like. You should even ask questions that help clarify where your potential partner is at on things like family, feelings, and conflict resolution.

Family relationships are another important indicator to look at before investing in someone on a serious or long-term level. While we are not responsible for the behaviors of our family, the way we interact with them is often similar to how we treat our partners. How does this person treat their parents? Their siblings? How do they talk about them when they aren’t around? Ensure this aligns with your own values and expectations.

Falling in love is an exhilarating thing. It draws us in and bonds us in powerful ways, but we can often overlook some critical pieces of information in this dramatic fall into someone else. There are some crucial questions that should be asked before we give ourselves over to a serious relationship. It’s not enough to simply ask these questions, though. We have to take action when we don’t get the answers that we want.

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20-minute sessions increased to 30. Under lockdown, the 3 times a week rhythm turned into 40 minutes almost every day. Since we were released, I’ve been feeling like turning to outdoor activities such as running or surfing. Sometimes, I just go for a long walk.

The past is a powerful thing, and it often creates ties that damage us on an emotional level. We have to severe these ties in order to establish futures that are authentically aligned, and to let go of the painful shadow lessons that keep us small. Is your potential partner over the past? Have they let go of old hurts and past hearts that used to be theirs? We can’t move into the future if we’re constantly looking backward.