Some people form relationships with this guy expecting him to change. But when it’s been a full year and he’s not levele

Similarly, when it comes to the outdoor element, Skaug reminds us, “You don’t have to do this big expedition, but even if you live in a city you can still walk.” She adds, “If we help someone, that’s very koselig. There’s always someone who needs help more than yourself.”

This man has literally nothing going on for himself — but it’s everyone else’s fault. Not his. At the very least, the fake-deep fuckboy mentioned above can find a fake-deep partner to connect with. The joke fuckboy is just that. A joke. A time-waster (his own and others’). Nothing to see here.

What to do if he is you: Get some therapy. Ask your past partners for an honest summary of your personality. Interrogate your beliefs and biases. And take a damn science class.

What to do if he is you: Have someone administer personality and career aptitude tests. What’s your deal? What do you enjoy? What are you passionate about? It’s not too late to make a change.

So, what is a fuckboy? For the purposes of this article, it’s a person who doesn’t have enough respect for women to earn their time, attention, or energy. But he never stops trying. And he never stops making excuses for his ineptitude. He’s got no self-awareness or accountability, so he sees zero need for even the slightest bit of growth. And as such, his relationships tend to either fizzle out or crash and burn.

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ch that you have this big arduous task to complete every single day on the way to achieving your goal. Instead, you have to deal with minutiae — teeny tiny little steps involved, day in and day out, for weeks, months, and years, to get the job done. The two aforementioned obstacles keep you from building the discipline to get this part right, which makes you want to quit very early on.

He smells like Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap and Nag Champa incense and has ever since he discovered them in college. His patron saint is B.o.B. He’s a thinker and occasionally a reader — usually of conspiracy theories about the moon landing being staged or the Earth being flat. He’s likely not registered to vote. (His third eye told him there’s no point.) If he does register, he plans to write-in Kanye West’s name on his ballot. He doesn’t eat pork, but he definitely smokes blunts. He calls women “sis” or “queen” to condescend, not endear, and his patriarchal attitudes and behaviors reflect that same energy.

Can he change? Yes. Whether it’s via a motivating relationship or some kind of self-improvement retreat, the joke fuckboy can become a completely different person — if he wants to.

A fuckboy gets dismissed with an eye roll, a sucking of the teeth, or maybe even a middle finger. He never gets to meet the parents or even close friends both because he’s not worthy and because he likely has no interest. He’s only interested in what you can provide in a single moment.

The term “fuckboy” (or “fuccboi,” depending on how Very Online you are) has a multitude of meanings — none of which have a positive connotation. It’s an equal-opportunity insult. A condemnation. If a romantic partner has ever referred to you as such, it’s time to do some reflecting, get your affairs in order, and make the appropriate changes. And like the word “hipster,” if you swear you’re not a fuckboy when someone calls you out, you probably are one. Don’t fight it; just do better.

You don’t have to have a cabin that backs onto a cross-country ski piste or a crew of sweater-clad roommates to share hot cocoa with by candlelight. Blogger Ingrid Opstad of That Scandinavian Feeling points out that “finding creative ways to be social whether with friends or family is a great way to incorporate the feeling of koselig in our lives. This can be as simple as a virtual coffee date with a friend to chat and feel connected.”

Life’s a tumble, but overall I kind of like it — and having the mind space that automation affords me plays a great role in that. So here is what I automated this year to save me hours of time, effort, menial work.

Koselig may be enigmatic, but it’s not unattainable. And its power, as Opstad puts it, is that “it is a way to find joy in those moments where it can feel difficult to do so.” Which makes it the perfect approach to any winter — this one especially.

You’ve heard the term, and now you’ve read the explanation, but do you know how to identify one in the wild? Is it your boy — or, more importantly, is it you? Peep the four archetypes below; if you see yourself, it might be time for some self-improvement. Seriously.

Koselig may be enigmatic, but it’s not unattainable. And its power, as Opstad puts it, is that “it is a way to find joy in those moments where it can feel difficult to do so.” Which makes it the perfect approach to any winter — this one especially.