That’s not to say I don’t love my partner and the time I get to spend with him, but I made a room of my own, a la, Virgi

Author : 6adorn
Publish Date : 2021-01-07 14:07:12


That’s not to say I don’t love my partner and the time I get to spend with him, but I made a room of my own, a la, Virgi

I couldn’t pinpoint why, exactly, I got so pissed off while chopping garlic for marinara, when at one time I found it a sensory joy to split open that pungent smell of a fresh clove as I minced away.

Sometimes, in those early months, I’d start making a meal and abandon it the minute I realized I’d have to clean a head of broccoli, because fuck, who has the energy to rinse a vegetable when chopping garlic feels like an insurmountable pain in the ass? Takeout it is. Or was, rather.

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As time went on, however, I realized that it wasn’t the activities I hated. It’s that I had progressed as a drinker to the point that pretty much everything I did somehow related to wine.

So for many months after I quit drinking, I quit cooking. Over time, I started cooking a little more and more, and learned that an icy glass of soda water was all I needed.

Cooking. As a drinker, I could spend hours in the kitchen devising up all sorts of home-cooked, from-scratch vegan fare: dim sum, lasagna, lo mein, palak paneer and naan; magically healing soups like green ginger pureed with harissa, fish and rice. You name it. But it all came with an extra-large pour of wine next to me.

Luckily for me—and likely for you, too, if you’re sober or sober curious—is that, though it took some time, I realized that it wasn’t the activities I hated. It was that I had related their enjoyment with drinking, not with the actual doing of the things (as they say).

While I spent a lot of my energy trying to find ways sobriety would work best for me (meditation, yoga, reading, naps, puzzles, alone time), at the same time I started to avoid some of the activities I used to love when I was a drinker, like cooking, socializing, and going to spin class.

I felt the same way about socializing, which I know is a “thing” for the newly sober. I knew it would be different to be without the armor alcohol provided me in situations when I would be expected to have lively discussions and be super extroverted (INFP over here).

Fitness. Because I rewarded myself with wine after a workout, I hated working out as a newly sober person because I missed that reward afterwards. Just like cooking, it took a shift in my mindset to understand that there were other ways to enjoy a hobby I once loved so much as a drinker. It just takes time to figure out how to optimize the experience once again—this time sans the booze.

And when I say I hated things I used to love, I mean, activities that I once lived for; that I considered hobbies, pastimes, part of who I was as a “cool chick.” Part of how I identified as a modern woman!

To make things even more interesting, because you have to sit with your feelings when you’re sober, I’d started to have this increasing sense that I was so privileged as a drinker — and now as a non-drinker—that I stopped allowing myself certain luxuries because of this sad sense of white fragility (pathetic). To be sure, many of the resources I had begun to lean on to support myself in sobriety were (and are) super white, ultra classist; but then, so was buying $25 bottles of rose every night and thinking that was normal (also pathetic).

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uld recommend that you take some time to take a second look at your code before putting it aside — and maybe come back to it six months later asking yourself “what was this part of the code supposed to do again?”. First, even if you may now be convinced that you will remember the logic of your code forever, you may come back to it later and not remember exactly how it was structured. If it had been done properly, you will save a lot of time then. Second, other people may need to read and re-use your code. Except if you are certain that neither you nor anyone else will use your piece of hard work later, consider the following section.

Thanks a lot for reading! I interviewed 50 productivity experts and made a 150 page guide out of the project. This is road-tested advice from real people who get things done. Get it for free here.

My CEO reinvested a large amount of his personal profit into growing the company even more, and he will keep his responsibilities for at least the next few years. Why? Because he’s passionate, driven, and because he can’t sit still doing nothing for more than 2 minutes. That’s the power of entrepreneurship done right.



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