The funny thing is, it wasn’t me that cheated in my marriage. Eventually, it came to light that the person I was married

Another study in 2009, conducted by Maria Richter et al, described similar results. They explain that the presence of negative words like “disgusting,” “grueling,” and “dirty,” cause stress in the moment as well as contributing to long-term anxiety. Positive words, like “refreshing,” “celestial,” and “warming,” conversely, decrease the expression of stress hormones.

It sounds so straightforward, but most of us are shockingly casual with our language, especially when meeting someone new for the first time. It’s scary and stressful for most of us, which can cause us to word-vomit anything that comes to mind. If you choose to talk about anything stressful (which is easy now — we’ve got the pandemic, the election, the weather events, and the increasing price of chocolate all top of mind) you might accidentally shove someone else’s brain into a spiral of stress, which will cause them to think less positively of you.

There was a time period after I discovered my husband’s infidelities when I hoped to mend our marriage. People in our lives who knew our situation said, “You have a hall pass! Don’t you just want to go for it? How will you ever be able to not resent him if you don’t have sex with somebody else?”

In the end, I feel grateful for my “missed opportunities.” I feel grateful to have had a friend like Laurie, who gave me the questions to ask about being attracted to someone outside my marriage. I am grateful she didn’t judge me. She made the time for me and encouraged me to take the time to understand what I could about the unfulfilled or unseen places in me. As I discovered more about those places, I grew into a more full version of myself. I’m grateful I know myself to be bold and honest. I’m grateful I know how to channel my rage and express it creatively.

In the end, I feel grateful for my “missed opportunities.” I feel grateful to have had a friend like Laurie, who gave me the questions to ask about being attracted to someone outside my marriage. I am grateful she didn’t judge me. She made the time for me and encouraged me to take the time to understand what I could about the unfulfilled or unseen places in me. As I discovered more about those places, I grew into a more full version of myself. I’m grateful I know myself to be bold and honest. I’m grateful I know how to channel my rage and express it creatively.

I never did. And though it’s said that people regret what they don’t do in life more than what they do, I can honestly say I don’t regret never having an affair. I’d already felt what it felt like to cheat when I was in my twenties. It didn’t feel good.

Instead, go into your meeting or conversation with intent. Be mindful and specific about the words you choose — it may be hard to wrangle “celestial” in casual conversation, but maybe you can talk about some warming hot chocolate you had or a refreshing cool breeze you enjoyed while on a walk.

Authors Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman tell us that “…a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress,” in their book Words Can Change Your Brain. That’s a lot of responsibility for just some words.

We like to pretend we’re at the mercy of our brains — that through no fault of our own, we forgot to buy milk at the grocery store, that we acted weirdly at a party for no reason, that Twitter has us hostage and doom-scrolling.

It’s worth noting that all of the standard rules of good first impressions still apply here — body language, tone, and eye contact are all still important. You can’t just say “celestial” and be done. But the very words we use are often overlooked in the quest to make a perfect first impression, even though they can be vital.

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another purpose. By having very strong and very saturated colors making up a pretty unconventional gradient, it stood out from the crowd. It was instantly visible on a home screen. It was even easier, as a staggering number of app icons uses a shade of blue as its primary color. Blue can be seen in over 50% of all the app icons on most home screens.

As long as there is marriage, as long as people pair up and pledge faithfulness to one another, there will be affairs. I am not so pious as to say all affairs are wrong or the destruction that comes from affairs never has a silver lining. I believe that we are human, we make mistakes, we hurt people and are messy, and we also need love and connection.

Word choice sounds simple, but it’s also simple to ignore. We underestimate the power of words at our peril — they have very real consequences on how we perceive ourselves, and how others perceive us.

Nobody cares that you made $10,000. We don’t need to know the details of your income, bro. Why do you need to shove how much you made in front of everybody’s face? Suppose you were walking to work and some random guy popped up in front of you yelling,

They describe how simply focusing on positive words can cause short- and long-term changes in our frontal lobe, while negative, fear-inducing words increase activity in our amygdala, the fear center of our brains.