The reason is that while I think these efforts are well intentioned, they have the potential to destroy a lot of value a

Non-profit work: We will do some work here with our Pledge 1% program and GiveCrypto.org, but this is about 1% of our efforts. We are a for-profit business. When we make profit, we can use that to hire more great people, and build even more. We shouldn’t ever shy away from making profit, because with more resources we can have a greater impact on the world.

With the kids, what we’ve found is that we almost never resolve behavioral issues directly, but that things just get better when we spend time with them. So my wife will cuddle and talk to each of them, on their own. If the boy yells at his mother he knows that I’ll “take him to his room and be nice to him.” My previous strategy was to yell at him to “STOP YELLING!” This is much better.

Instead, we commit to spending a bit of time in the morning or evening just talking to each other. And then when I chew the guava like a human just eating guava it’s OK. My card isn’t declined. We have love in the bank. Our needs are met so we let the little stuff go.

What I learned after having children is that every outburst is not what it seems. Every complaint is not the problem. Sometimes we’re talking about wants but our real problem is needs.

Sometimes my son will be screaming for some toy and I’ll try to seriously talk to him about his attitude. I’ll sternly count to ten and say “you can’t always have what you want.” Trying to mold character. Then my wife comes in. “He’s just tired. Put him to bed.” And she’s right. His want for that particular dinosaur was not his need. He needed rest. I was missing the forest for the screams.

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it, the basic and standard commands always take the lead, overshadowing some important commands that could ease up some of your tasks. Commands such as grep, blame, and biscet can help you debug your commits, while diff and filter-branch can help organize and inspect your repository.

It has become common for Silicon Valley companies to engage in a wide variety of social activism, even those unrelated to what the company does, and there are certainly employees who really want this in the company they work for. So why have we decided to take a different approach?

Let me qualify. All of this assumes that your needs are being met by your society. That you’re not working two jobs, or unable to find work. That someone isn’t incarcerated, or suffering from health issues. That your family or friends aren’t also giving you stress. That all gets into our relationships and it’s just hard. That’s a bigger problem and it’s not your fault. We need to take better care of each other. I’m sorry.

In our marriage, especially in lockdown, sometimes we’re just not paying attention to each other. There’s nothing in the bank. So we (me, almost always) snap. We can talk about this all night and I can recognize that I’m being an asshole, but I can’t stop. It’s just not going to get resolved overnight.

Of course, there are exceptions here around internal employment matters, whistleblowing, etc. And we want all employees to feel safe disagreeing on the work itself. Candor and debate are core to a healthy team, where it is safe to disagree. We consider these to be related to our mission.

Even among adults, a fight is rarely what it seems. A fight is a feeling, a feeling of not being heard, not being seen, not being tended to. And a feeling comes from a body, a body that may have a lot of other stuff going on. So, like a Doctor checking blood pressure before anything, you should check your inner child first. Are you hungry? Are you sleepy? Need to poo-poo? Then you can move on to the adult.

Harder, of course, is the need for love. This cannot be resolved with words. It often just takes time. I’ve found the love bank is a good metaphor for this. Yes, your card got declined over chewing loudly (WTF, normal loud), but it’s really because you’ve been taking each other for granted for weeks. That’s not going to get solved overnight. You can commit to spending time together, and then sleep on it.

Sometimes my daughter will tell me (repeating back what we’ve told her), “babies can’t tell us what they want so they cry.” Are adults so different? We know lots of words, but do we know what we need? Are our needs really so different from a child’s? Don’t we all just need food, love, and care?

This is not a direct solution to any specific problem, we don’t talk to them or ‘correct’ their behavior. We just try to meet their need for love. We put love in the bank. I think adults are much the same.

Political causes: We don’t advocate for any particular causes or candidates internally that are unrelated to our mission, because it is a distraction from our mission. Even if we all agree something is a problem, we may not all agree on the solution.