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During Gregorio VII’s time was also when corruption was very rampant in the church as well. To tackle the old corruption problem within the church, the Pope decided to enforce abstinence on every priest, monk, and nun. Marrying or any kind of sexual relationship for monks, priests, and nuns was forbidden and they were forced to practice abstinence daily. One of the most significant changes that Gregorio VII brought was the standardized haircut for monks.

I imagine the hundreds of conversations, walks, texts, all of it over the years — the years of driving the kids places, traveling with them, calling her on the phone while she was at college and talking for an hour or more, only to call the next day, and the next. Staying on campus an extra day, hiking with my son or sons, standing with them in the kitchen chopping vegetables or washing dishes, all of it, all of the commutes and folding laundry, all of the mundane tasks interwoven with talk. And realize she’s right. I laced those conversations with difficult questions, with attempts at improving our existence, and I still do.

The haircut that these monks had was called the Tonsure, or Tonsura in Latin. The word tonsure means “clipping”, as in clipping one’s hair off. The bizarre haircut started around 1073 when Pope Gregorio VII was enthroned. During this time, the culture in the church was very lenient on haircuts, dress code, and even dating amongst monks, priests, and nuns.

Later in the evening, when my daughter and I are out for our nightly walk, we chat about many things, but I finally say to her, “Y’know, it was hard for me to hear the things that were so difficult for you guys when your dad really didn’t pull through for you. The times that it was just so disappointing. I mean, it rides the cusp, right? It’s not like he was super-neglectful, but I feel like maybe I should have been more in tune, should have picked up that slack more. I know about the major things. The time he left you at the SATs for hours. The fact that he never came to teacher conferences. Those ones I get but hearing about all of these, what, micro-disappointments I guess you could call them? I just feel like I missed them when they were happening.”

I have a long way to go to improve my parenting, just as every parent does, and every parent will, but that’s because the day I became a mother I reckoned I would be a mother until the day I die. I can work at being a better mother if I want to. And I want to.

They don’t tell you when you get divorced that you will now have a window into the ways that the other parent succeeded and failed, and that you can use that as a weapon or a tool. I prefer building.

Have you ever looked at a medieval painting of a Catholic monk and wondered why and who came up with the hilarious haircut they rocked? Many religions and their practitioners follow strict regulations of their individuality to get closer to their God or achieve enlightenment.

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I go a little further, and ask what I am really after. “I guess, though, I would sort of want to know that stuff. What you guys think I messed up on. In case I owe you an apology, or so I can do things better moving forward.”

This article is for informational purposes only, it should not be considered Financial or Legal Advice. Consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions.

To symbolize the giving of their lives to God, monks were to mimic Saint Paul’s hair. Saint Paul was said to be a bald man; which meant that every monk was to shave their head clean. Saint Paul was revered by many Catholic Christians for writing thirteen books of the Bible and spreading Christianity across the Roman Empire in his lifetime. It seemed appropriate for Gregorio VII to think that mimicking Saint Paul’s hair would bring the church closer to God.

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n you can’t go big, go small, go tiny. Find beauty in the view from your bed, in the dust motes dancing in the sunshine, in the sound of a loved one’s voice on the phone. Keep your heart and your mind open when everything conspires to shut you down, including your own thoughts,” McReynolds says.

They don’t tell you when you get divorced that you will now have a window into the ways that the other parent succeeded and failed, and that you can use that as a weapon or a tool. I prefer building.

One of the more common regulations is haircut: in Buddhism, monks shave their heads clean to symbolize cutting ties with the secular world. In medieval times, the same applied to Catholic monks, except it was a unique cut where only the top of their scalps are shaved and the edges left untouched.

A solution to this dilemma was a haircut that satisfied both the bible and the pope. Monks shaved the top of their heads to show tribute to Saint Paul and kept the edges of their hair to also respect the bible. The new bizarre haircut was named the tonsure and was worn by almost every Catholic monks in Europe in medieval times.