This means that, because it takes us an average of 600 milliseconds to retrieve a word from our brains, we MUST be think

Listening doesn’t just require listening to words. It incorporates tone of voice, body language, and cadence (amongst other things). If we can wait to formulate our responses just a few hundred more milliseconds, we will get significantly more information than if we didn’t. And then, we will be able to formulate more informed and intelligent responses.

“If you are going to reply to this thread, do it respectfully and with kindness please. I do not tolerate trolling in any shape or form. If you would not say it to someone’s face, do not even think of posting it here.” [x]

Honestly, when someone is truly in love with you, they don’t let you wonder if they do, or leave you hanging. They don’t send you mixed signals. In fact, the opposite is true. Their actions speak louder than their words, and they show their love through their actions rather than just telling you they love you.

Patience is so important for so many reasons in so many parts of our lives and has been a trait of so many great leaders. Gandhi tirelessly worked for thirty years for a free India. Nelson Mandela suffered for almost 30 years in prison. What if they didn’t have patience? Our world would be a different place.

You will not have to wait long periods before seeing them — unless you are in a long-distance relationship. In which case, when two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far, no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.

Otherwise, when you have a chance to see each other, the partner who is in love with you will happily make the time. It is important to note that time apart is essential to relationship health as well. You don’t want to spend your whole time with someone, no matter how much you love each other.

Even when you are in love, you must make enough time to pursue your dreams and focus on your hobbies or career. In fact, time apart is exactly what makes you long for the other person, and makes your moments together more potent and memorable.

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ing as designed. The caste system that was designed not just by America, but in order to create America. White on top. Black on bottom. A caste system that was systematically enforced, first by slavery, then by Jim Crow, the Klan, redlining, restrictive covenants, police departments, every headline referring to the death of George Floyd rather than the murder of George Floyd, and finally our government itself, which is currently, as I write this, attempting a coup by throwing out votes in the majority-Black cities of Detroit, Atlanta, and Philadelphia. (The crime is in the attempt, not the success.) America is so addicted to its racism that most conversations, even and especially white liberals’ conversations, about healing still revolve around pardoning Trump and finding common ground with his base, which is like treating a bullet wound by polishing the gun.

Psychologists use the term “gaslighting” to refer to a specific type of manipulation where the manipulator is trying to get someone else to question their own reality, memory, or perceptions.

From Megxit trolls and those who excuse them, to folks who view their harsh critiques of Meghan Markle as “par for the course”, having “nothing to do with race”, the four-year pile-on of a black, biracial woman speaks not only to the toxic media environment, but to an epidemic of casual, yet harmful, misogynoir.

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Another way of encountering people in real life are language cafes or polyglot meetups. Many universities offer weekly language cafes where people can practice different languages at different tables or simply talk to people in different languages. The same goes for polyglot meetups which are usually open to are larger public, hence also for non-students.

The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the easier it becomes for their flaws to stand out. That is just the way life is. This is why children are abandoned, marriages fail, and friendships fall apart.

Most people I know have been through this at least once in their life. I have been a victim, too. Scratching my head, asking myself if my partner is really into me as he says or not — only to realize later on that my intuition was somehow right, he was really not that into me.