We all feel anxious sometimes. And obviously, feeling anxious is uncomfortable — painful even. So what could be more nat

So you worry. Because, even though worrying creates anxiety, it alleviates helplessness (temporarily, anyway). And for many people, they’d rather feel anxious and stressed than helpless.

Expectations are beliefs about how the world should work, including how the people in it should act. And while they can be helpful at times, they’re often quite dangerous psychologically.

Here at Medium, when it comes to copy editing, we believe “copy style is like design with words.” (Iris, one of our copy editors, wrote that CE poetry!) Our copy editors are the gatekeepers of that word design, the house style, and general good grammar across Medium’s owned publications. They’re also the final pair of eyes before a piece is published.

After spending all afternoon cleaning the garage, you expect that your spouse should immediately thank you and express their appreciation. When they don’t, you not only feel sad and disappointed but also angry and frustrated. And when they still don’t mention anything, you start ruminating on all the previous times in your marriage when you’ve done something nice and not been appreciated for it. Of course, this leads to even more anger and resentment, and eventually, is likely to lead to a fight or serious argument.

On the other hand, people get sent to jail all the time for acting aggressively. And the reason? You can control your actions, which means you can be held accountable for them and they can be judged as right or wrong, good or bad.

If you’re a chronic worrier, you know how much anxiety and stress it adds to your life. You also probably realize that worrying about bad things happening doesn’t seem to actually make good things happen instead. In other words, you probably realize that worrying is all side effect and no cure.

Trouble is… surprise is an emotional amplifier: Feeling angry is hard enough. But when you feel angry after expecting to feel appreciated, your anger — and all the unhelpful behaviors that follow from it — is going to grow much bigger and more painful.

If you want to become happier, calmer, and more emotionally stable — especially in your relationships — start paying more attention to your expectations. And once you start noticing them, adjust them to be more realistic or throw them out entirely.

Creators Hub asked our copy editing team what errors they see again and again and what personal pet peeves they have when it comes to style. We’ve also included some bonuses of what they love to see/read.

So, while we, and other publications, may look to the AP Stylebook and Chicago Manual of Style for grammar and style rules, we also have an internal style guide that the copy editors refer to when editing a story.

Sure, worrying about how you could handle all sorts of terrible things briefly makes you feel in control, but the mountain of stress and anxiety catches up to you eventually. Because when you’re chronically stressed and anxious, you start seeing more and more things to worry about, which leads to more and more anxiety and stress.

This is why no one ever gets sent to jail for feeling angry — you can’t control whether you feel angry or not, and therefore, it’s not something you can be held accountable for.

The issue with expectations like this is that, right or wrong, your expectations will frequently get violated. And each time they get violated, you’re going to experience surprise and shock on top of whatever other emotion you feel.

Amid all the hoopla that accompanies holding the record for most number-one albums by a solo artist in history, to say nothing of being married to Beyoncé, Jay-Z nevertheless made a concerted effort to routinely stop by “to chat with the only person in the room likely to have more money than him: business magnate Warren Buffet.”

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ou halfway. Sometimes the best solution to a problem is in the moderate answer. There is no big prize for trying to be always right even when you are not. Question yourself and see if there is a better option than the one you came up with; ask for a second opinion about a specific matter and genuinely care about the response. Let other people’s ideas and goals be ahead of yours every once in a while and help your beloved with their needs too.