We wound up dating for almost two years. What ended us wasn’t his cheating or insecurity. It wasn’t his judgmental, over

I took the huge task of writing and chunked it down differently. I generate ideas constantly throughout the day, every day. Thursdays and Saturdays are for writing about those ideas. Sunday is for finding images to match those ideas. Monday is for editing the writing. Every other day is for sharing my writing on social media. If I’d tried to do all of these tasks in one sitting I would have given up by now.

On top of the support from the Farringdon studio, there was also the global network of F45 studios to get me through. Whatever fitness challenge you’re doing, I’d recommend following others doing the same challenge on social media. Everyone on the F45 Challenge around the world does the same classes each day, and it was helpful looking at others’ versions of the same meals and the classes beforehand. My Instagram feed looked like the inside of a bodybuilder’s kitchen, with all the chicken breasts and protein shakes on the challenge hashtags I was following, and I’d religiously watch the studio’s Instagram Stories for a glimpse of the workout I had to look forward to.

I’m usually an independent exerciser and have no problem motivating myself to work out — the thought of jogging with a friend to “catch up” brings me out in hives — but I seriously underestimated how vital others’ encouragement would be to get me through such a massive lifestyle change. “Team changing, life changing” is the F45 slogan and they’re not just empty words. Complaining about the meals and difficulty of certain classes with the same people each day was cheering. My now-friend Mervet Kagu, with whom I did virtually every class, also describes “the sense of community and support from fellow challengers and the trainers” as her biggest motivation throughout. As someone who usually avoids all eye contact with others at the gym, I surprisingly didn’t mind having to make small talk with fellow challengers at 7am. I was also added to a WhatsApp group headed by the trainer who’d act as my mentor throughout (shout out to Jonah!), which I was grateful for countless times. Once I’d muted it, which I did within five minutes of being added, it was an invaluable source of challenge intel.

We started talking about the book he was reading, which he’d brought with him. I went on to offer my explanation, how I’d tried to take a nap after work; I didn’t want to look tired on our first date.

Jeff says writing is made up of idea generation, turning those ideas into drafts, and then editing those drafts so they can be published. Like Jeff, I tried to take the task of writing and execute on it as if it were one thing.

There were a lot of things he could’ve done. He could’ve left. He could’ve guilt-tripped me. He could’ve pouted. Instead, he let it go and we had a great time. He could do that because I was telling the truth, not trying to make up some excuse. That night said a lot about both of us. Basically, neither one of us were into bullshit — not yet at least.

Sad but true. Call me a sheep, but I don’t enjoy socialising sober at night when everyone else is drinking. This meant I had to turn down invitations and plans where I knew alcohol would be involved (read: about 80% of them) to stay on track, because I knew I’d be miserable being the boring “healthy” one and having to explain why I wasn’t eating or drinking as normal. (You may find it easier to strike a balance between socialising and a fitness regime, but an all-or-nothing approach sometimes works better for me.) Thus, my social life suffered — badly. During the week I’d spend every evening at the studio, followed by meal prepping for the next day (three meals and two HOMEMADE snacks). Because my fridge is so small I couldn’t make a week’s worth of meals on Sunday like other people. (This being said, I’d never done a weekly online shop before the challenge and it’s a habit I’ll be sticking to because it is, crushingly, cheaper than nightly runs to Tesco Express. My mum was right.)

If your focus is to build an enormous company or become the CEO of a company you work for, you’re going to be drowning in work. You’ll probably have next to no time. Your partner may even leave you. If you have kids, they probably won’t get to know you. There are downsides to “big.”

Fitness apps may have scored a bad rap recently (with critics claiming they’re too number-heavy) but for me, tracking my habits, mood and workouts in the diary section of the F45 Challenge app became a key source of motivation when I was struggling, and I’d eagerly await the “drop” of the following week’s meal plan on Mondays (how’s that for a sorry glimpse into my life?). I stuck to the meal plan pretty staunchly and trained six times a week on average, giving me a huge sense of achievement and satisfaction that I hadn’t felt for ages. It was great having a fitness and nutrition plan laid out for me — it freed up mental space to think about other things.

Jeff Goins’ approach to life is clever because it makes sense and it’s actionable. Motivation doesn’t get you very far. Applying a systems-thinking mindset to your life is perhaps the greatest lesson you will ever learn.

While it’s important to be deliberate and consistent in your training, it’s crucial to have diversity within each session (the same goes for healthy eating). The focus of F45’s classes alternates each day: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are cardio-focused, while Tuesdays and Thursdays are weights-based, and Saturday is a slightly longer class (Hollywood, my favourite) that combines both. Classes are never repeated (and specific exercises are only repeated every now and again) so you never get bored, while recipes on the meal plan aren’t repeated week to week. I realised my diet was extremely lacking in diversity — as a veggie, I leaned heavily towards carbs and wasn’t getting enough protein (I’m now a protein shake addict) — and I was too reliant on caffeine (see: the aforementioned crippling headache). I came away with a cookery book’s worth of recipes that I’ve already been recreating in my post-challenge life.

Jeff Goins’ approach to life is clever because it makes sense and it’s actionable. Motivation doesn’t get you very far. Applying a systems-thinking mindset to your life is perhaps the greatest lesson you will ever learn.

Profitability just means making the best return you can out of what you put in. You maximize the hours you spend on your work, rather than maximize how many hours you actually work. The key is to take the value you produce and have it create more value for you without you having to do it.

The first two weeks were the hardest for me — the meal plan means no coffee, alcohol or sugar — and on the first day (my first without coffee for at least a decade) I had the worst headache of my life and felt like I was outside my body, looking down on myself. The immediate impact of the cappuccino withdrawal amazed me, but the WhatsApp group told me I wasn’t alone, and I ended up having one of the best sleeps of my life, so it wasn’t all dire.

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