Who, What, Why - Who am I?

Who, What, Why

Who am I?

Who am I??

I never really knew who the real Jeazelle Dorine is until now.

I turn a year older every 29th of December, and I’m currently seventeen.

I give thanks to the people who gave me life in this world, Ralph and Monica and I feel grateful for having three wonderful siblings: Joezelle, Joyzelle, and Ralph.

All I know about my personality is that I am adaptable, a creative thinker, I am adventurous and I love doing new things and getting to new places.

I always love meeting other people and being friends with them.

I am a dreamer and hopeless romantic who someday wants to be a full-time mom and housewife who takes care of my husband.

I must admit that there are times that I am such a crybaby, I can get obnoxious, I can also get loud and careless.

As I was reading How Guilt Can Be Disrupting Your Gut Health I found that I am a big and lazy couch potato whenever I have time, we don't care for our health, do we...

There are also times that I am insensitive and I don’t care how people look at me.

Other people may judge me of who I truly am, and I care less of what they may think or say of me for I have nothing to do with them.

What am I?

What am I?

Is the question that has been raised?

It does seem somewhat a simplistic question, yet; it has a ring to it.

I for one hand, consider myself the climax of millions of years of evolution, adaptation, and survival and that I represent the very height of physical perfection in human form.

That's one way of looking at it.

Another would be to describe me as a temporary collection of atoms that have been recycled from other objects and are currently assembled in such a way as to create an entity and when the passed by, the same atoms will be separated from each other and then again be recycled to create another entity.

But that is just my physicality.

As a person, I think of myself as a pen.

And the hand that guides me is God’s.

The hand that guides me, most of the time, write smoothly.

As if nothing can stop Him from writing all those good stuff in my life.

But there are times that my ink smudges it is the time when I have problems and my emotions are like whirlwind, those are the tests in my life.

Maybe the paper will look ugly but those smudges are the ones who give meaning and spice to my life.

Without those problems, I can never know what a good life really is.

Why am I?

I don’t know why am I, why am I still existing, why am I doing things I shouldn’t do, why I don’t do the things that I have to.

There are so many things that I do not know and things that I cannot comprehend.

Life is very difficult to understand.

As of now all I know are the answers to the questions why am I taking up my course, it is because I want to be the pride of my family and I want to give them comfort.

Why am I sad right now, it is because I lost love.

Why am I happy, my family supports my decisions.

Why am I contented, because I have everything I need.

Other than that, I don’t know much anymore.

I’m still in the process of my life wherein I don’t understand much.

I do things I want to do even if I’m not supposed to do it.

I’m in the part of my life wherein experience is my teacher, it doesn’t matter if it's mine or not.

In this part of my life, all I need is understanding.

And maybe through that someday I can answer all the rest of my whys.