Writing is a process that starts with planning and ends with proofreading, which, for some of us, is the most challengin

Accessibility in the broadest sense is the goal to ensure that products support a user’s needed accommodations and preferences. It is outcome-focused and often defined by specific standards, whereas inclusive design is process-oriented and considered throughout the design lifecycle from day one. A fully inclusive process should lead to fully accessible products, but just accounting and designing for accessibility does not mean your design is fully inclusive.

“This isn’t awkward! Just sad. I saw a girl sit down and wait for at least two hours for someone to show up. She sat in my section, and ordered coffee after coffee, just waiting. Eventually, I stopped by to see if she needed anything else. And she just started crying. She said, ‘I guess he’s not coming after all.’ I gave her a cookie on the house, but she didn’t eat it.”

“I was working front register when a girl walked in, clearly dressed up for a date, and sat in the cafe immediately. A few moments later, a man I’d gone to high school with who was a complete jerk walked in and sat with her. They’d obviously never met before.

“Oh god, so this is what happened: He went up and ordered this giant-ass drink, which came to like $7 and change. She ordered a small latte. When I read the total, she looked at him and he wouldn’t look up from his phone. She pulled out her debit card, looked at me, and started laughing. We made their drinks, she took his giant one and left.”

Thank you to all the nice folks who have shared their development experiences online, including DevOps Directive, Attila Vágó, David Fekke, and many others who I have linked to above.

“After an hour, I checked in on him and he told me his date was running late and asked me for a phone charger. Being in a ‘Tinder success story’ relationship myself, I happily let him borrow my charger and got back to work, knowing all too well how he was feeling. Two more hours go by, and it’s time to close up. It’s been three hours since his date was supposed to arrive, and I had developed a sinking feeling he got ghosted since our prior conversation. I think he knew, too, because his entire demeanour had changed from nervous to utter despair in the time since he sat down.

https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/cobresal-v-audax-italiano-v-es-cl1.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/cobresal-v-audax-italiano-v-es-cl2.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/cobresal-v-audax-italiano-v-es-cl3.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/cobresal-v-audax-italiano-v-es-cl4.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/cobresal-v-audax-italiano-v-es-cl5.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/cobresal-v-audax-italiano-v-es-cl6.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck01.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck02.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck03.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck04.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck05.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck06.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck07.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck08.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck09.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck10.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck11.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck12.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck13.html
https://www.communitiesthrivechallenge.org/rwo/spanish-national-cyclo-torr-ck14.html

calculating conditional probability, i.e. the probability of one event given another event. That’s what the | (pipe) symbol denotes in the equation. So P(A|B) is the conditional probability of event A occurring given that event B occurred.

I can’t pretend that most of my coffee dates weren’t awkward, as first dates tend to be. But, they did and do still happen. I’ve actually witnessed several other people on awkward coffee dates just by popping into Starbucks for a black tea. So, in the spirit of continuing to prove my friend wrong, I asked baristas to spill the beans (pun intended) about the most awkward coffee dates they’ve witnessed. Ahead, eight baristas spin some of the saddest and most cringe-worthy tales you’ll ever read.

“This guy waited three hours for his date to show up, and once she finally did show up she was very rude to him and kept getting mad that he wasn’t talking much. She proceeds to leave after about five minutes there. He comes up and says to us, ‘Well that was the most awkward first date ever.’”

“I finished cleaning out our pastry display and offered him a croissant and a large cup of coffee for free before informing him he had to go since it was time to close up. He looked at me with the biggest, saddest eyes (I could tell he was barely holding back tears at this point) and whispered, ‘Oh… okay… thanks,’ and walked out. It was the worst I’d ever felt telling someone they had to leave, and we never spoke about that night again. I heard he’s in a very happy relationship now, though. So it looks like it all worked out in the end.”

Inclusive Design should just be Design. Careful consideration of all the various types of folks who will use what we make and accommodating their needs should already be how we work on every project, every time. But it’s not. Why isn’t it? Because despite how much we talk about it, most of us have no clue how to really conduct the necessary activities and methods in a way that will fit into our existing workflows, nor are we being encouraged to find out by those we work for (and remember, we’ve been conditioned not to fail — see point #4). So we defer learning how to incorporate it into practice for another time on another day, just as we do with ethics. Every time we do this, what we’re really saying is that it’s fine to release a product that may not work for a significant portion of the population — real people who are already being shortchanged daily by the design of everyday things. It’s well beyond time that we stop letting this be the norm.

“One time, a younger regular (guy, mid-20s, athletic and conventionally attractive) came into my café all dressed up, which I complimented him on when he ordered (he usually stopped in for iced tea and a chat after hitting the gym, still dripping sweat), and he thanked me and told me he was going on a Tinder date with the ‘girl of his dreams’ that he had been chatting with for the past two months.

“I could hear him talking about how much of a player he was back then, and how he’d turned his life around to respect women. The girl’s face went from horrified to bored while he said, ‘Oh I love women so much! Women are how this society gets going. Men wouldn’t be anywhere without their wives to have children!’ I’ve never seen someone book it from a date as fast as she did. He didn’t even look concerned, just stood up, ordered a black coffee from me, and went on his way.”

Once upon a time, a friend told me that no one really takes people out on coffee dates. But I (ever the least fun person at a party) proved her wrong. Because I almost exclusively ask first dates to meet me at a coffee shop. Something about the atmosphere just makes me feel relaxed. Somehow, chatting over a latte or a cup of tea on Saturday afternoon feels way less loaded than sipping on a glass of wine at 9 p.m. on Friday night.

Relationships of all kinds can be tricky to navigate, especially for those of us dealing with past pain and trauma that affect how we relate to others. I encourage you to do your best to not judge yourself, and to be compassionate and understanding instead. All relationships and people can use a little support — you don’t need to feel ashamed or alone in that. Constant communication and patience with yourself and your loved one are key.