You think you’re giving up booze, but actually, you’re becoming another kind of person. The new you might need a less st

And so I learned to take responsibility. And my life began to fill up with things that mattered to me. As I took care of them and myself, life came to feel meaningful and precious.

The process of getting sober, and doing the work required to stay that way, allowed me to see that I was incredibly, shockingly, embarrassingly immature. Some of my ideas and beliefs hadn’t been reappraised since I was fifteen or sixteen. Many of them no longer served me. Some of them actively worked against me.

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nswer is: it depends. First of all, you should not spend your free time on topics that you do not enjoy. Life is too short to do so. In my opinion, the best project is the one with the highest long-term return and the one that you enjoy most.

For the first time since I can remember, I was truly able to appreciate the gifts I had in my life. Basic things like sight and mobility, living parents and some solid skills. I started to validate myself, and to aim higher, and to make progress again. A lot of it was internal stuff: developing self-love and learning to have healthy relationships, but some of it was external too. I got a better job, and lost some weight. I stopped getting into debt and started to save.

Drinking allows you to live a fantasy life in which you are cool and smooth and successful. Everything is possible when you drink. Sinking that first beer you wonder why on earth you have ever been anxious.

Being sober all the time in this world is tough. Have you seen it out there? Yikes. Sometimes it gets too much for me. I go to the GP to ask for help or I go to therapy (when I can afford it). I lean on community support groups like AA and ACA, and I’ve even started asking for help at work.

When you put the drink down, you are left with reality. This is why I drank, you realise. The limitations of your talent, work ethic, attention span. But you might recognize too how much you have achieved, how much you already have. That you are a survivor.

In early sobriety, you need to be surrounded by people that understand why it’s important you don’t drink. And you need a job that matches your energy levels now you can’t use wine to get you through.

It was tough at first. In my first year, I had to entirely reimagine what fun was. That’s how far I was from having any. I had to let go of the cool and silly and spontaneous drinking persona I had enjoyed (and hidden inside) for so long.

Personally, I found all this change exciting, because — spoiler alert — before I quit drinking I was miserable. That’s why I quit. But not everybody quits because they’re unhappy (apparently.) The sober curious crowd do it for the perks. Others do it as part of their spiritual path.

I still have a long way to go, but I’m no longer getting in my own way as much as I used to. Following through on your commitments because you aren’t hanging out your arse is a pretty effective way of getting things done it turns out.

As a kid, it looked like adult life was rubbish. I didn’t want any part of it. And so I felt no pressure or urgency to grow up. I was allergic to responsibility and determined to avoid it for as long as I could.

Life is hard and for me, drinking only made it harder. I mean sure, it gave me a break too. But once the booze wore off, my problems were still there. Some of them growing more complex as the months rolled by. Meanwhile, I was getting older.

For me, the payoff wasn’t there anymore. It hadn’t been for years. That’s why I longed to be sober. At 33 I’d done the party years, the pub years and the student years to death. I was sick of chatting shite and chain-smoking when I would rather read a book and have an early night. I was desperate for something else. And yet, I kept getting drunk.

Even if you never royally exploded your life while you were drinking, sobering up you will be struck by the time you’ve wasted. For the first two years after I quit I would be winded by regret. What on earth had I been doing with my one precious life?