You’re good at giving them what’s expected. You’re making a bit of money, but not a lot. This stage can be a trap. You c

To have that, we have to work on ourselves, including our attachment styles that have been forming since we were born. We do our best, though our successes also come with mistakes. Even when we have the best of intentions, we can still slip up or self-betray — and sometimes, we don’t even know it.,You may take on a parental role with your parents as a child, taking care of them instead of them taking care of you. You may do or feel you need to do more than you should reasonably be expected to do. You may not be sure where age-appropriate boundaries are, what others need or what you should do.,Sometimes, managing relationships and ourselves within them can feel like a full-time job. So many kinds of relationships exist, and there’s always new dating slang coming out. We aim to have healthy relationships with our friends, family, potential romantic partners and even strangers — which can take work.,Actions that result from enmeshment can feel a lot like love. While the people engaging in those actions can very well be loving and come from a place of love, the behaviors lean more towards enmeshment and may need some work in order for the relationship to be as healthy as it can be.,When your loved one is sick or hurting, you feel those same feelings with them. You may also feel increased anxiety and a dire urge to help them however you can. Their hurt is your hurt, and you struggle to be okay if they’re not okay. You may struggle to differentiate their emotions from your emotions. Additionally, your happiness may depend on the status of the relationship.,One way relationships can become unhealthy is when people experience enmeshment. The American Psychological Association defines “enmeshment” as “a condition in which two or more people, typically family members, are involved in each other’s activities and personal relationships to an excessive degree, thus limiting or precluding healthy interaction and compromising individual autonomy and identity.”,You don’t want your loved one to be unhappy or in need, so you’ll do whatever you need to do to help them. You may not set up or stick to your boundaries and may push yourself to say “yes” when you may need (and are allowed) to say “no.” You take care of your loved one’s mental health and physical health first and foremost, ignoring your own or pushing it to the side.,When I was around three years old, my taste buds changed dramatically. I think I actually had/have legitimate sensory issues, but in the late 90s/early 00s, I was simply labeled a “picky eater” and even a “spoiled brat.” There were lots of things I stopped eating at age three, but the one food group that has remained excluded from my diet into adulthood is meat. I started eating seafood in high school, and have actually always eaten bacon (don’t ask), but your standard “meaty meats?” Nope, won’t eat ’em. I am not morally opposed to the consumption of meat by any means; I just don’t like it. The textures freak me out, and the smell of beef in particular repulses me.,In these moments, remember that your loved one is their own person and they have other situations and relationships that can affect their well-being too. Make sure you understand and respect their boundaries, even when it’s difficult, and know you’re only responsible for yourself and your actions. Consider talking to your loved one about your feelings and ask them to provide some logic to help you realize that your feelings aren’t facts.,You may take your loved one’s negative emotions personally, believing you’re at fault and that you have to do something to “fix” it instantly. You may put a lot of pressure on yourself to make sure your loved one is happy at all times, and when they aren’t, you feel like you failed or aren’t good enough. You may overly “mother” your loved one and struggle to maintain boundaries with them.,Keep proving to yourself that your idea is a good one by selling more, helping more people. Keep doing what you are doing. If you let yourself get discouraged at this stage, you can get stuck.,You may not be able to take care of yourself or make decisions without your loved one’s constant input or permission. You feel as though you truly need your loved one rather than simply receive support and love from them. You don’t allow yourself and your loved one to have personal time and space, or if you do, you become consumed by worry and upset feelings.,Remember that even if you say “no,” your loved one will still love and appreciate you. You’re allowed to set boundaries and take care of yourself first. You can suggest other helpful options to them, but don’t feel like you have to do something. I like to remember this anonymous quote:,In these situations, bringing in a relationship or family therapist can be crucial. Psychology Today has a database that can help you find the right fit. Other than that, communication and “I statements” are another good option. Talk to your loved one about your needs, including ways you’re feeling stretched too thin or used.,If you’re struggling with this, try to remember that your loved one will be okay and think of all the times when they got better and everything worked out. Remind yourself that your partner is strong and can get through what they’re struggling with, and that the same goes for you. Think about all the successful, pleasant relationships and moments in your life; try to focus on those and other helpful distractions.