Unshakeable in her Beliefs that landing on the moon

Well, the rest of the country may be having trouble organizing coronavirus immunization, but the Sullivan County Health Department is clicking like a fine Swiss clock. At least they were last week when we got our shots in Blountville.

It did take about an hour and a half, but they immunized a lot of people, and I couldn’t see any way the process could have been improved. One person said it took them six hours at the racetrack. That’s where we have to go for our second shot, so I hope it’s speeded up some. You’d think it would go fast, it being a racetrack and all.

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I don’t really care how long it takes. I’ve been seriously ill a time or two. A little inconvenience for prevention of a disease with possibly fatal or permanently damaging effects is worth it. However, if it’s going to take a real long time in a car line, some preparation is appropriate.

How embarrassing would it be to run out of gas? A book, pleasant company or the phone charger might be nice; small children would not be a good idea. Wear something that lets them get at your deltoid — that’s the inverted triangle muscle at the very top of your arm. Funny as it was to the rest of us, the people last time who had to get out in the cold and rain to partially disrobe in front of everybody weren’t laughing.

And last, a matter whose mention would be indelicate. I do remember my grandmother, given the scarcity and state of sanitation of service station restrooms between Birmingham and Panama City, used to have a large, empty tomato juice can in the car when they left on vacation. How you manage Depends on you.

The most dangerous part of the process came at the end when we had to wait 15 minutes so they could help us if we had a reaction to the shot. The wait was in a parking lot filled with drivers our age, 75 and older. There was one courageous person trying to direct traffic, but he’s probably been run over by now.

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Some things I just hear so often they deserve a response.

“People are dying from natural causes and doctors are just saying it’s COVID to get more money.” The short answer is NO. Whatever other sins we may commit, physicians do not falsify death certificates.

The long answer is that the United States has about the same, predictable number of people die every year. It looks like we are going to have about 400,000 deaths during COVID’s first year and a total of about 500,000 deaths more than expected over that time period. We are, therefore, probably under-identifying COVID deaths rather than exaggerating them. If not, it’s really scary because there’s something else out there that’s killed 100,000 people and we haven’t identified it.

If you don’t believe in COVID-19 at all, how scary is 500,000 unexplained deaths? My mother was unshakeable in her beliefs that landing on the moon was fake and professional wrestling was real. I am therefore prepared to accept that many people don’t believe there is any such thing as COVID-19. But I do wish somebody would dig out their Roget’s Thesaurus and find some synonyms for “hoax.”

“It’s no worse than the flu and we don’t wear masks for the flu.” First, maybe we ought to. Influenza killed about 80,000 people last year. Second, it is far worse than the flu.

We don’t wear seat belts or have even common-sense gun regulations either. COVID-19 has killed more than twice as many as all three of these put together so far.

“I’ve had my shots, goodbye mask.” Almost half of cases are so mild you don’t know you have it so you walk around throwing germs over everybody you meet. Right now, the shot looks like it may keep you from being real sick or dying but maybe even more of us may become infectors unawares.

•••

On a far sadder note, this week marked the passing of my friend Dr. Robert C. Jones just short of his 104th year.

A better man will not soon pass this way again. He was blessed with personality, character and intellect. It was our blessing that this skilled physician and person of honor and integrity chose to live in Kingsport. May his memory live on in the many ways he changed the lives of those who knew him.