A sexual-assault survivor designed Assk First, a line of underwear that reminds partners

Author : tedcain03
Publish Date : 2021-03-13 21:29:54


A sexual-assault survivor designed Assk First, a line of underwear that reminds partners

In the words of Ella Fairon, a sexual-assault survivor and cofounder of SafeBae, "nothing is hotter than asking first."

"Talking about consent is cool. Getting consent is cool. Everyone should be aware of it," Fairon, 24, told Insider.

That's why Fairon decided to launch a line of underwear, Assk First, which features her hand-drawn designs and eye-catching phrases that serve as reminders and praise for active consent, in February.

On the brand's Instagram page, Fairon and other models don the black breathable underwear and let the messages do the talking.


"Ask the cutie before touching the booty," one black thong reads, while a feline-themed pair says "Cool cats get consent" in memory of Fairon's close friend, Daisy "Cat" Coleman. Coleman, a sexual-assault survivor and activist, was featured in the 2016 Netflix documentary "Audrie and Daisy" and died by suicide in August.

For Fairon, a noted activist and advocate for sexual-assault survivors, creating this line could push the topic out of the classroom and into everyday discussion.

"If someone is in an intimate scenario and it gets down to the underwear, I imagine their partner
being stopped in their tracks, like 'Wait, what does your underwear say?'" said Fairon.

Fairon spoke to Insider about Assk First and why making consent a cultural norm is still so important.


Designing an underwear line is a creative way to spark conversation around consent
According to RAINN, one in six American women has been the victim of attempted or completed rape in her lifetime — a harrowing statistic that underscores the importance of creating dialogue around consent.

"At the end of the day, your underwear is the last thing on you," Fairon said. "I felt like it was important to start there because it could reach a lot of women and resonate with them."

Assk First, which is currently fundraising on Kickstarter, is releasing three official collections to start: Classic Consent Collection, Consent Cat Collection, and the Consent Cat Collection in a bikini cut. A limited-edition Valentine's Day collection was also released.

Each package, available in sizes XS to XL, contains six pairs of underwear adorned with individual designs and crafted with comfort in mind.


Although Fairon's first collections were designed for women, she plans to expand into men's underwear and add additional sizes (starting with 1X to 4X) to her brand in the future.

Assk First's underwear was created with 86% Polyamide and 14% Spandex. They're also laser cut, meaning each pair won't leave a visible line under clothing.

Pre-orders kicked off on February 6, with the first set of deliveries expected to ship out between March and April.

All proceeds will go to SafeBae — Safe Before Anyone Else — a national youth-led organization that raises awareness about sexual assault in middle and high schools. The group, which has reached an estimated 5.5 million people through social-media campaigns, conferences, events, and speaking at schools, was founded by young sexual-assault survivors and advocates including Fairon, Coleman, Coleman's brother Charlie Coleman, and Jada Smith.


Fairon developed Assk First in December, a few months after Coleman died by suicide
The first collection Fairon created for Assk First was the Consent Cat Collection that Coleman inspired.

"This collection is very special to my heart, as it embodies Daisy's spirit and style, and I know she would love it," wrote Fairon on Kickstarter.

She continued, "The cats were inspired by her ferocious spirit and, of course, her name. As consent is something that she and I have traveled the world to teach to teens and young adults, I know that this line would truly be a work that she would be proud of."

Coleman died by suicide on August 4 at the age of 23.

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Coleman was one of the titular subjects in the Netflix documentary, "Audrie and Daisy," which detailed her experience with sexual assault at 14 years old, the subsequent trauma, and ostracism from her Maryville, Missouri, community.

She became a prominent advocate who raised awareness about dating violence, sexual assault and harassment, Title IX rights, and survivor care.

"After losing her in August, I was coping through art," Fairon said. She began drawing small pictures of Coleman and herself, which soon blossomed into her current project.

"I started drawing these little cats, and I thought, 'Oh my God, these are so cute. She would be obsessed with these,'" Fairon added. Once Fairon set her mind to the project in December, she hit the ground running.


"It's very much with my artistic style. This branding fully exudes me as a person," said Fairon, who serves as SafeBae's media director, pointing out the brand's incorporation of flash tattoo art.

Fairon, like Coleman, has a love for tattoos and sports several on her arms. Coleman became interested in tattoos at an early ageand later became a tattooist in Colorado.

Crowdsourcing on Instagram also played a role in Fairon's design process
Although Fairon is the mastermind behind Assk First, it was, in part, a collaboration with its budding online community.

"I took polls on our Instagram and really connected with the audience we had. We started from zero. Now we have around 1,300 very active followers that communicate with me," said Fairon.


"I took all that data and shaped what would be the most popular, in terms of fabric, design placing, and even color," she added.

Fairon says conversations around consent are getting better, but there's still a long way to go

Before the #MeToo movement and #TimesUp brought sexual harassment to the forefront of headlines, Fairon recalled how prevalent victim-blaming was.

"People forget that Daisy, Jada, and I went through our trauma before the #MeToo era," said Fairon.

Fairon was drugged and sexually assaulted by a peer when she was 14 years old.Jada Smith was 16 years old when she was drugged and sexually assaulted at a party. Both women faced intense scrutiny and bullying after the assaults.


"There was a time where people straight up did not believe you. They looked you in the face and told you they didn't believe you," Fairon said.

Social scientists have suggested that the #MeToo movement and other similar campaigns have helped shift the stigma around sexual assault. However, the CDC noted that the official numbers for sexual assault are likely an "underestimate because many cases go unreported."

"We're getting to a better place as a culture, but there's still so much work to be done. Consent should be fully rounded," Fairon said.

With Assk First, Fairon was determined to "bring the consent conversation to everyone's inner circle," including people who aren't ordinarily talking about consent.


"I wanted to reach a demographic of people that still think this could never happen to them and still think that certain actions aren't assault, but are," said Fairon.

"I don't want anyone to go through what I went through," she added. "I never want to hear of another young girl waking up and having her life completely different — not knowing who she is anymore."
 



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