My History With Multiple Sclerosis, Part One

I am not going to moan about my childhood. Overall, it was great. I was a chubby little kid that did not like to be made fun of. When I was 12 years old I saw the Mr. Olympia contest on Wide World of Sports. That is where everything began. I was suddenly very excited. That summer, Johnny Bennett gave me a bench and the following Christmas I received a set of weights. My life was in my hands and control. I was highly motivated.

I didn't know anything about working out. All I had was an instruction sheet that came with my concrete filled weights. I followed the instructions meticulously and after a few months, I started to see results. I thought they were results anyway. People in my junior high school saw my arms started to grow and everyone wanted to arm wrestle me. I was still a chubby kid, but everybody suddenly wanted to be my friend and I was motivated. I now had goals.

I played football in junior high school and knew that I wanted to play in high school. I always played sports and girls liked athletes. Near the end of my ninth grade (15 years old), my transition to high school began with Spring Football Practice at Hamden High School.. We only had one week of it for ninth graders, but it was a chance to show the coach what I could do. How could I be intimidated by people in my own grade? I could not and was not. I was very motivated to kick some butt since kids from the other junior high school in my town would be there. They were still a massive rival, none of them were my friends yet and I wanted to do some damage. I did. The coaches had expectations for me come the fall.

Triple sessions began in late August. It was incredibly hot and humid. I thought I was going to die. It wasn't the first triple session day that was hardest either, it was the second. That is the day when you are unbelievably sore and tired. None of us knew it, but a transformation was taking place in our minds and bodies. As we got through the week, we started to believe that we could make it to the end. On Saturday, we had a scrimmage. That was our first opportunity to hit someone other then our NEW friends.

The following Wednesday was the first day of school. I did not realize it but triple sessions caused me to lose pretty much all of my chubbiness and I had a new set of large Traps. I couldn't believe it. Suddenly, girls were interested in me. I was interested right back. Football had some of the greatest and worst moments of my short life. None of my friends could ever say differently about them.

It is now 29 years since I graduated from high school. Some of my best friends from back then are my best friend's now. When we see each other now, it's like it was yesterday. Nothing is different - Which Is Great!

Now for the greatest and worst parts Of the rest of my life.

After graduating from high school, I went to Boston College in the fall of 1980. It's a very strange transition again, going from big man on campus to nothing/no one. I knew I could blast through that wall. I just had to figure out how. First semester freshman year was tough. I did not do as well as I did in high school and everyone seemed smarter than me. When that semester ended, I spent a lot of time thinking about the rest of my days in college. I could do it and do it much better than I did during first semester I also spent a lot of time during Christmas break drinking with my high school friends.

During Christmas break I went over every note, exam and chapter from my chemistry, physics and calculus classes. When I got back to school, I was rested and very ready. My apprehension was pretty much gone and it was time to make Boston College aware of what and who they were dealing with. I studied and studied, rewrote my notes every day and asked a lot of questions. Professors only slightly intimidated me. I was scoring big on all of my exams.

Back to first semester. One day this guy in my dorm named Kurt saw me and said "hey, you got some big arms". I looked at him with disdain and said thanks. In my mind I actually said "thanks, tell me something I don't already know". Kurt did not know it, but I admired his size. He was the big one. A bit of a block without shape but, he was very big and strong. I was happy that he thought what he did. Kurt did not live on my floor. I was now totally out of shape because the Sports Complex (plex) had been closed for a long time for renovations. Where could I lift weights? Luckily, Kurt knew.

We would hitchhike to the YMCA in Watertown, Massachusetts. I was finally lifting again, feeling bigger again and I had a friend that thought like me. Actually, he was bigger, stronger and more adept at finding a place like this. I could learn something from him. Kurt also made me laugh and had these same taste in music. Loud and Hard.

College went on and on. We were best friends and roommates during our final two years. We used to sneak into the football player weight room to work out. It was easier than hitchhiking. Suddenly, the trainers for the athletes gave us both jobs as strength training coaches. We didn't do anything, we just lifted and grew. We were extremely happy.

Early in my senior year I was accepted into the Navy Nuclear Power Program. After graduation, I would go to The Officer Candidate School in Newport, Rhode Island. I was going to be a submariner.

Officer Candidate School was not what I expected. I got there in the absolute best shape of my life. I saw the movie, An Officer and a Gentleman many times and I was not going to be caught off guard. Well, I was. The physical aspect of OCS was not really there. No obstacle course, no Dover Dunker- just morning runs and Saturday morning Mandatory Fun. During my first liberty, I was walking down the street with my ice cream suit on and a car load of hot looking girls drove up to me, pause and yelled SQUID! Couple that with the fact that we were in Newport and I could hear all of the fun being had down in the wharf and the heat. My focus did not seem to be with me. I left OCS a little over one month after getting their. Looking back, I probably should have given it more time. I just couldn't miss another workout.

Later that summer, I didn't have a job for the fall or any prospects. And this was definitely not me. I was always squared away. I was now bartending at a resort called Holiday Hill. Technicon was having their company picnic. I spoke to a few people about what they did and took some advice. I paid a lot of attention to the personnel manager. He gave me his business card and told me to attach it to my resume. 10 days later I had an interview.

Being freshly out of the Navy, and having no time to buy a suit, I borrowed one from Kurt. Now, Kurt was larger than me and had a much wider waist so, I was not totally comfortable doing the interview. Brian Taylor, my interviewer was very understanding and they did call me back for a second interview. This time, I had a suit. The second interview went very well and I had a job offer the next day.

My parents house was exactly 65 miles away from Technicon. It would be tough, but in 6-9 months I would have a sales territory and that issue would be gone. I got into the grind of commuting, working out, little bits of going out on the weekends. I was having a great time. I met a lot of new people at work and at the gym. Most of them were helpful.

OK -- --Now, being a grown up slowly and forcefully kicks in.

Right around December, 1984 I started to feel a little bit different. Not bad, not better just different. I had a slight tingling sensation in my legs. I notice that I gained a little weight and wanted to lose it to look my best for traveling. Technicon paid for my lunches because I was training customers. I was always into nutrition and lost some weight. Correctly, or so I thought. I noticed that my strength was diminishing. I squatted 600 pounds early in December 1984 and late in December, that wasn't possible. I also noticed that my bench press was going through the floor in a hurry. I didn't have a feeling of strength running through my body anymore..There was some type of disconnect. Very strange. I knew what the problem was, I just lost some weight and my body was adjusting to that. Probably only minutely correct.

Well, over the next couple of months I lost more strength. What was going on? I just didn't know and didn't want anyone else to notice.

Line in the Sand Day

Late February/early March 1985. We were playing a quick game of basketball. I slipped and tore the ligaments in my ankle. I just kept moving forward. Nothing was going to stop me from being successful. I went to the Pittsburgh Conference held in New Orleans during late March. It wasn't much fun to stand up for eight hours with a cast on, but I did it. New Orleans was fantastic. Great food. I worked out at the YMCA and it was a scary place. My attitude, cocky or whatever made me feel right at home.

After 6-8 weeks in a cast, it was removed. Actually, I removed it myself with a branch cutter. I did that because I had a date and my foot really smelled. Guess what, I never walked perfectly again. Was it my ankle just taking its time getting strong again? Maybe, I needed a little comeuppance. Was it something else? People noticed and asked me about things a lot. I started to get self-conscious and would always change the subject. Who cares what's wrong, I can still walk - RIGHT?

I was asked to spend a lot of time in Wisconsin and Minnesota to sell to the butter and cheese manufacturers. I was very excited about going. I would be spending April, May and part of June out there. It was beautiful. I sold a little bit, saw the sites and came home every weekend. Strange company policy. I was eating correctly, my ankle healed and I was ready for the next stage of my career.

Late June, 1985 I moved to Cherry Hill, New Jersey. I had a great apartment. There were three other units, two of which were occupied. The first, by a couple that were reporters for the Philadelphia Inquirer and the second with 2 girls that just graduated from the University of Michigan.

Punch in the Face Day - I was not gaining any strength and I was losing some coordination. I thought the orthopedic that put the cast on my ankle must have screwed up and screwed me up. I went to an orthopedic in New Jersey. He did all of these tests and told me that there was no screw up. He referred me to a neurologist. The neurologist recommended that I get an MRI done to get a better look at things. I had another appointment when the results were in the doctor's hands. The doctor told me that I had MS, Multiple Sclerosis. What the hell is that? He told me that it is a neurological disorder where the body eats the myelin sheath off of the nerves. Those points scar over causing a disruption in the neurological flow. This results in my loss of coordination and strength. Do you have a pill that will cure me? No, one does not exist. In fact, nothing exists. I wanted a second opinion. That appointment was made for me at the University of Pennsylvania Medical Center. I was told the exact same things. This time however in a much colder way. I left without paying.

What am I going to do? I need to get out of New Jersey to somewhere safe.

One day I was working on the road when my seemingly annual flu came to call. I went home and got into bed shivering. I went to sleep and about eight o'clock that night I woke up sweating. Nothing new right? Well, I could not move my legs. I was incredibly scared and crawled out of bed dragging myself across the floor to my office. I pulled down the telephone and called for an ambulance. That was the only thing I thought I could do. I was taken to the hospital and given several glasses of water. Within a couple of minutes, I was perfectly fine. I did not feel sick and I could walk. The couple from upstairs came to the hospital when they saw the ambulance. They brought me home.

I am not going to spend a lot of time here, but I was alone in a different state. I did not know the best ways to manage a sales territory. I did not have all of the skills required-Yet. Then one day my telepho