As stated in one of my previous articles, narcissists — in most cases — do not believe they have a disorder, therefore t

The degree of complexity one encounters when dealing with narcissists is so overwhelming that most people break underneath the weight of this extreme challenge which most people perceive as unsolvable. This is the reason why therapists advocate distancing yourself from the situation. Often it is the only way to escape a complete takeover by the narcissist’s personality. Their hunger for influence and control knows no boundaries and will not stop even when the victim suffers a complete disintegration.

This of course is only the first step. The next would be to learn how to repair one’s own psychological damage experienced by such an upbringing. It is a long and rocky road, but even just the remote chance of living a normal life should be reason enough to try.

Depending on the severity of their disorder, narcissists may find pleasure in the helplessness of their children, but also in general in the helplessness of anyone who depends on them. Their lack of empathy enables them to experience no guilt in belittling other people’s distress and difficulties.

I can’t remember the fine details of the conversation, but two specific questions made their mark in my memory. She asked why, if it was alcohol that killed our children, did I continue to post pictures of our family drinking wine and beer at gatherings, and sharing memes and jokes about drinking on social media. The only response I could think of was that it was our culture, and we wanted to continue to live our lives as normally as possible for the surviving family members.

In the days preparing for this moment, I attempted to anticipate what she might have to say so that I could mentally prepare responses. Ultimately, I had decided I would simply let her speak and say whatever it was she was needing to purge in order to help her heal.

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I, the place that your request is sent to (and where the response is received) is called an ‘endpoint’. API endpoints come in the form of URLs and, depending on what kind of request you are trying to make or what data you want back, the API documentation should point you to the endpoint that you are looking for.

Meeting your own child’s success with jealousy rather than with joy, with subversion and self-interest rather than support can only be understood if put into the right perspective. A personality disorder is an illness, and an illness is a state of an organism that is out of balance.

Writing about narcissists always seems heartless, cold, detached and to some even compassionless. But the truth is that all one really does is describe a behavioral pattern of a person suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder. And if that description turns out to be comprised of those adjectives, it only means that the description is in alignment with the recurring patterns which match the profile of this particular personality disorder.

I remained quiet for the few seconds we stared at each other in the parking lot as I waited for to speak. She was matter-of-fact and pointed as she began, as if she had spent the last two years rehearsing.

Looking at it from this viewpoint makes it easier not to develop extreme anger and animosity towards people with such a disorder. However, this understanding should only be used to manage one’s overwhelming emotions and not for an exercise in compassion which the narcissist will only gladly exploit for his or her own interests. It is the ultimate trap their children continually fall into.

As a community builder and a parent, I want to explore why isolation as a parent feels like such a devastating universal truth in this moment and whether tapping into community might be a key to alleviating some of the pain.

Remember when you were a kid and didn’t want to hold your doll, or were done with your juice box-.just hand it to Mom, she’ll carry it! American moms are our culture’s default setting. Women still carry the brunt of the (unpaid!) emotional labor of child-rearing: managing timelines around online classes, muting and unmuting the mic for younger kids, shopping for food, keeping schedules, etc….All this while still “showing up” for work and meeting deadlines. The intensity of modern parenthood was heated before COVID and now, it has reached a boiling point.

Their children’s sense of empathy keeps them trapped indefinitely. They keep coming back to give it one more try, and again they experience the same abuse as they have for most of their lives. It is well known among therapists that often the only way out of this downward spiral is to either sever the relationship or minimize contact to a level where the narcissist cannot interfere with one’s life any longer.

The very nature of their functioning inhibits them to see the consequences of their actions. Any hope for collaboration and insight will be met as an opportunity for further exploitation. The duration of this struggle is determined by the child’s comprehension of the full scope of the problem. The longer one insists on “trying” the longer it will take to bring it to a conclusion.

She started telling me about her daughter and the kind person she was, about what her life aspirations had been, and the last words spoken between them the previous night before the accident. She then handed me the large framed picture of Danielle. Although I had seen her picture many times before on social media after the accident, I knew this acknowledgement from me was what she needed.