What does that mean? It means it’s an alternative to the REST API. In REST, you normally have dozens of endpoints, and e

I was not successful in creating the marriage I wanted because I married someone that I was not supposed to. I knew the relationship was not the right one for me, and judging by his participation in it, it was not the right one for him either, but we went along with it anyway. Looking back it is clear, that neither of us had the awareness or maturity to confront the truth and move on accordingly.

I lit up when he walked into the room, but he never noticed. He was simply unable and not interested in meeting me where I was. He was not interested in any of the activities or interests that I was drawn to. He engaged in a few of these things in the beginning, but over time he grew to resent participating in any of it or feeling like he had to. My first response to this was to convince myself I did not need those things to be happy.

GraphQL was designed to solve a particular set of problems —p roblems many teams don’t have. In exchange, it introduces new difficulties: caching, scaling, lack of HTTP statuses handling, etc.

I still longed to have a connection with my husband. I longed to have him interested in me and what fired me up in life. He loved me, he just didn’t need the things I needed. Connection for Stephen was just having me there. For a long time I thought I could stay married like that, but denying what I needed most, was chipping away at my spirit.

Giving this much energy towards trying to make something work, that was never meant to, took away from the rest of my life, including Motherhood. There were times throughout the 31 years that I was discouraged, and depressed. I know I missed things during that time; more than I would have liked to. I, by choice, was pretending to be less to keep my marriage and it meant I was less in every area of my life and in every way.

There is so much I can write about after 30 years of trying to grow a marriage that seemed incapable of growing, but I think the most valuable thing I can share is that, sometimes things are not meant to work. When we genuinely and earnestly give our effort to something we believe in and it does not ever bear fruit, or enough to compensate you for everything you are giving, it is of utmost importance to pay attention to that. It is not working for a reason. It is not meant to. So often we pretend that that is not the case because much is required if we acknowledge it, but it is truly our gift. It is life/god/the universe/natural consequence (what ever you believe) telling us, “hey, this is not your path, it is time to course-correct.”

I don’t believe “I thought I could change Stephen,” as it is said, many people go into relationships thinking. I thought I could change me into what he needed in a wife. Not consciously at the time, consciously I believed that he was a good person and my dissatisfaction in the relationship was because something was wrong with me, not him.

So I spent many years in therapy, reading books, anything that could help me fix me so that I could need less and appreciate this silent but safe man in my life. I loved Stephen; I could not have been more in love with him. I thought he was the most beautiful man in the world, still do.

GraphQL was open-sourced in 2015 and regularly made lists about the “Hottest trends of *insert year*,” yet it’s still not very popular. Why would that change the next year?

GraphQL was designed to solve a particular set of problems —p roblems many teams don’t have. In exchange, it introduces new difficulties: caching, scaling, lack of HTTP statuses handling, etc.

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s to save time by taking advantage of a platform’s implementation to perform some useful tasks. This also helps to reduce the number of code lines developers need to write for their program. Because APIs give you access to the data that you will need for your application.

As the years went by and I realized that those were the activities and interests that actually nurtured my soul, I began to put pressure and express my disappointment that he didn’t participate in them. Part of my motivation was for my own pleasure, but the other was that I wanted to give my children a love of the outdoors, adventure and connecting with people, which were the things that brought me so much satisfaction in life. I wanted to introduce them to more of the world outside of our home. Because I loved Stephen, I eventually stopped expressing my disappointment. I knew what it was to feel like you were not enough, and I did not want to do that to him or convey that message to our children. I also didn’t want to feel like I was his victim, because of course I was not, so I quit asking and started taking the kids on outings by myself, as well as doing things alone.

Over the year’s I have worked diligently towards creating a healthy and beautiful marriage. I’ve participated in marriage retreats, non-violent communication training, counseling, personal development and healing the childhood wounds. I became more awakened and aware of who I am, how I affect others, and I was able to bring more honesty, appreciation, love and respect to the relationship.

After 31 years, I am ending my marriage with the man that I love and it is by far the hardest thing I have ever chosen to do. It requires me to trust what I know, have faith in what I believe and to surrender to the unknown.

I was coming from an abusive childhood, so for me it didn’t register yet, that Stephen was unable to converse with me and didn’t seem to have any interest in doing so. What registered is that he did not call me names or hit me, was a gentle lover and genuinely cared for me, for those reasons I believed I was extremely lucky to be in a relationship with him. The absence of outward aggression in Stephen made him a Saint in my mind, reinforcing that anything wrong with our marriage must be my fault.