COVID-19 pandemic unleashes an unprecedented wave of grief

As of Tuesday, the United States has passed 556,000 deaths from COVID-19, a staggering number which means that an unprecedented number of Americans are experiencing the grief that accompanies the loss of loved ones.

Health experts who spoke to Yahoo News say they are concerned about what they see as a pandemic of grief, as the impact on mental and physical health will have a ripple effect for years to come.

In a US study conducted last year, researchers found that every death from COVID-19 affected an estimated nine survivors. This translates to more than 5 million Americans mourning loved ones lost to the virus

A new model estimates that nearly 40,000 children have lost a parent to COVID-19, according to a research letter published Monday in the journal JAMA Pediatrics.

"Children who have lost a parent are at increased risk of agonizing grief," said the research letter co-authored by Rachel Kidman of the Stony Brook University Public Health Program.

"Grief can take many forms, and it may be a loss of life, but it can also be a loss of human touch. It can be a loss of normal interactions in the workplace or in an informal setting or simply the inability to see or speak to [people] in person," Dr Kavita Patel said:

Patel added that for Americans, “the loss has occurred on so many levels” that even those who have not lost loved ones may suffer grief and not realize it. 

Dr. Catherine Sher, founder and director of Columbia University's Complex Grief Center, is an expert in the study and treatment of what has come to be known as "prolonged grief disorder". This is a well-known form of grief, she says, that can occur when something interferes with the loss adjustment process. When this happens, acute grief can persist for long periods of time, and the patient can feel intense emotional pain.

“What we think behind this prolongation are the pressures and difficulties around deaths. Sometimes the difficulties are more difficult due to the way a person thinks about death and also the inability to feel comfortable and the inability to manage and adapt the loss in the usual way,” Sher said.

For Carol Caravasii, 70, from Aubrey, Texas, who lost her husband, Nick Caravasie, in March 2020, the pain of her loss still lingers.

“Someone asked me,” My husband died three months ago. It's very painful. When does this improve? I replied, “I am coming for a year and I cannot answer this question yet because I am not there and it has not improved. "

The couple has been married for 48 years, and they did not separate. They have just moved to Texas from New Jersey to be closer to their only son when they both contracted COVID-19. Carole was put on a ventilator shortly before Nick's death, and only weeks later she learned of his death.

Karavasi says she is still feeling angry and struggling to understand why this is happening to her family.

“It's very hard to survive and not survive. I ask myself every day, 'Why?' And 'What if I did this or did it, would it have worked differently?' It's really hard to do without it,” she added.

It is no surprise to deal with the pain of losing a loved one. President Biden, who has suffered the death of a wife, daughter and son, regularly sought to comfort Americans who suffered a loss during the pandemic.

"I know what it will be like not being present when that happens," Biden said during a ceremony in February at the National Cathedral in Washington to mark the 500,000 US death from COVID-19. "I know how it is when you are there, holding hands and they look in the eye and run away. This black hole in your chest, you feel like you are absorbed in it. Survivor's remorse, anger, questions of faith in your soul."